and is there anything you can do about it? Is it right if they wont talk to you to resolve the issue?


Answers


bella
1949 days ago
No I don't think it's right to just abandon a client. It can be harmful to the clients healing. What happened? Sometimes patients or therapists feel the need to separate - but it should be done the right way, not abruptly or with bad feelings.



rainydaygirl420
1949 days ago
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Fpsy
1949 days ago
Hi Rainydaygirl,

what do you mean by abandon? Has the therapist told you unexpectedly that they are finishing treatment with you? Have they referred you to someone else?

What has been happening in the sessions in the lead up to you feeling like your therapist has abandoned you.



rainydaygirl420
1949 days ago
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Francesca
1949 days ago
How did you feel about your therapist?



rainydaygirl420
1949 days ago
I feel hurt by him, he was almost like a father figure to me. I still care about him as if he were a parent. I realize that sounds stupid, but I trusted him and I felt very safe with him and now I just feel hurt and confused.



bella
1949 days ago
Thanks for the reply and I'm sorry this happened to you. It's sounds like he's not the best therapist and he probably needs a therapist himself LOL. I know that patients can get very attached and dependent on their therapists I wonder if a patient can complain to a board similar to 'the college and physicians board' that handles complaints. I think you should find another more compassionate therapist. It should have been handled better for sure. Don't give up and try to be strong.



rainydaygirl420
1949 days ago
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Francesca
1949 days ago
You were discussing childhood abuse, and viewed him as a father figure. Perhaps he felt there was a conflict of interest there.

Therapy can open up a lot of raw emotions in a person. Maybe your therapist was simply not capable of dealing with the extent of your issues. I would say to find a therapist that is more qualified and able to deal with you in direct situations. You will get more from it. Also a new therapist can help you work through whatever happened with the last one.

Just be upfront about what happened and I am sure you can find peace with the situation.

Good luck.



Fpsy
1949 days ago
Hey rainydaygirl,

From what you've described your therapist was not experienced in dealing with your serious issues. I recommend you find a good clinical psychologist or psychiatrist who can help you deal with your serious childhood abuse and your feelings of wanting to commit suicide.

Have you been given a diagnosis?, as this might help with prescribing the right kind of skills based therapy for dealing with your issues.

Dialetical Behavior Therapy is a form of therapy that might be good for you. Read up on it and find a therapist who practices this.



billileli
1948 days ago
I think it's unethical and even dangerous for a therapist to just drop a client like that when they are suicidal.

I have gone thru stuff like that myself and believe me, I know what that is like.

I have gone thru years and years of broken trust toward professinals and not seeing any because of things like this.

It passes with time.

I hope you can heal from this and find hope and realize that not all of them are that messed up.

Billi



bella
1948 days ago
Hi again,

sometimes in therapy a strong attachment forms between patient and therapist. It can be similar to what you described, like a father attachment and sometimes the patient can feel a sexual attraction for the therapist. Either one of these attachments are not healthy for the patient. It is the therapists job to be alert to situations like this occuring and gradually wean the patient away from those feelings or recommend another therapist.

Your therapist didn't handle this correctly and this is why you're feeling this way. It important for you to realize that you can't go back to this therapist - you need to find a new one who deals with childhood abuse issues. It's important to inform the new therapist that you had this attachment problem. I think this is related to the childhood isues where you are longing to be taken care of, which is why you got so attached. Good luck finding a new one.



Edahn
1948 days ago
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rainydaygirl420
1949 days ago
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Edahn
1948 days ago
Out of curiosity, did you have an agreement with your therapist that you would not threaten suicide?



bella
1948 days ago
I think you should find another therapist and be aware/make

them aware of your attachment problem. If you have suicidal issues you do need a therapist. Here a link for a good suicide prevention website:

http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/



rainydaygirl420
1948 days ago
No, and therapists dont usually tell their clients to not discuss suicidal feelings. That would kind of defeat the purpose of therapy, if you had to hold back your feelings dont you think. And thank you for the website, But im done with therapy.



Edahn
1948 days ago
Discussing suicide and threatening to kill yourself are two different things. I can see why a therapist would ask you not to THREATEN to kill yourself -- it would destroy the therapeutic relationship because it would destroy trust. If your therapist didn't communicate that to you then I am sorry. Even therapists have issues.

Good luck to you.



Clyde
1947 days ago
Sometimes it is not always the therapists fault in aroundabout way. I have heard of a few therapists who had to leave their practices due to the recession or due to other complaints or what have you.

I also like Bellas idea of discussing with a new therapist about the attachment problem.

Best,

Clyde