Avatar Posted by canttalk2ashrink 75 days ago (Question)
I'm 16 years old and a junior in highschool.I hav nevr gotten along with my parents very well but all of my real problems started this november. Before than i had many freinds and was known for always being able to have a good time and being the person to call if there was nothing to do because i would always find something.I nevr had problems with drugs or alchohal (contrary to evryone's belief except mine, my "freinds" and my probation officer)but i would smoke weed and drink beer at parties like ne normal teenager. WHen my parents found out my father threatened me with a bat so i left to stay with a freind, he had me arrested and i was placed on probation.I wanted counseling to work things out with my family and we did it but it went terribly. My shrink is more interested in getting me introuble and sent to a reform school than helping me so i cant evn confide in him.He continueously calls me an alchohalic/drug addict evn though i havent used for any of these 10 months sense the incident.I dont evn have any freinds anymore because their parents didnt want them around me becasue of fear that my parents would get their kids in trouble and because i have become so moody and irritable all the time that they dont evn want to be around me or becasue i have to sneak so much to go out that it becomes bothersome. Evn the few that do call me i always end up blowing off because im to affraid to leave the house becuzz i think my parents will find some charge to brign against me nd have me sent to reform school.THe worst part is that ive talked about my feelings somewhat with my parents but they dont caer.THey try nd blame evryone but themseves and say that im bullshitting them nd that they just do it cuzz they care nd that this is all good for me. I no in my heart that if i could just be a normal teenager than i would be happy. INstead i feel empty inside and depressed all the time. I become very angry with people and want to hurt them and i go from being so sluggish that i just fall asleep to being so hyper that ill stay up for days. this is also the first time in my life that ive actually felt like using alchohal and drugs to make myself feel bettr nd not just for fun. i dont no wat to do with myself any more because im traped. I know the cause of my depression but i cant fix it or get away from it.


Answers

Written by Thumbelina 75 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Dear Canttalk,

It really sounds like you've been through a lot and there's a lot of negativity in your life that's making you upset. I have to be honest with you and say that some of what you described kind of left me confused. You said that you drank and smoked weed like a normal teenager, then your father found out, threatened you with a bat, you left to stay with a friend and then were arrested. All of this seems odd. It sounds as if it's a bit sketchy or am I missing something?

OK. Here's the thing I am getting from what you wrote. Even though your name is canttalk2ashrink, that's exactly what I would suggest for you. You said you are feeling trapped and are feeling like you want to use drugs and alcohol to relieve the tension you feel from being up for days, then feeling sluggish, and then so angry that you want to hurt people. A lot of times, parents (and others) tend to overlook possible mental health issues in teens because they say "oh, that's just his age". It might be a very smart and life-saving thing for you to really talk to a psychiatrist to find out if you have an illness that can be treated. If that is the case, you might be surprised how much better you might feel. I'm only suggesting this because I wish someone had offered it to me when I was 16. I've been bipolar all my life and wasn't diagnosed until I was in my 30's and had lived through hell by then.

Shrinks can actually be pretty good people to talk to if you get a good one and give them a chance. Why don't you talk to your parents about it.

Best of luck to you.

Written by Chemar 75 days ago - Show / Hide this answer Rating: -1 | Rate Answer: + -

Written by bellacutie 75 days ago Rating: 1 | Rate Answer: + -

I agree you've certainly been through alot of stress. It sounds like your parents particularly your dad went over board with the 'tough love'. It's completely wrong to threaten anyone with a bat, let alone your own child.

But I do agree they have a right to be upset. You say it's normal to drink and smoke weed. Even if all the kids are doing that, it doesn't mean you should - drinking under age is illegal and so is smoking weed - also it can greatly affect your attitude and motivation.

I agree family counselling is good, but you shouldn't be put in the position where you are being ganged up on. I think you should switch therapists - finding one who you can relate to. I think you need to find a way of making a mends with your parents. You did make a mistake so it's important to apologize, learn from your mistake and then you need to EARN their trust back. I realize that your dad did use OVERKILL in this situation and that's wrong. but I also think they were very scared by what you were doing and basically lost control and over did it.

Unfortunatley if you take the wrong path, there are consequences. Try your best to show them you want to change and you can be trusted again. Alcohol and weed is very bad for your body so, don't be tempted to self medicate. The best thing for you to do is concentrate on school and make the best of your bad situation. You're just beginnig to enter into adulthood and you want to be careful in making the right choices for your future. Tell your parents you want to switch counsellors. Be patient with yourself, be good to your body, patch things up with your parents and slowly earn your trust back. Best of luck :)

Written by StillStanding1 74 days ago - Show / Hide this answer Rating: -1 | Rate Answer: + -

Written by Clyde 74 days ago - Show / Hide this answer Rating: -1 | Rate Answer: + -


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