I am dysthymic, low-self esteem, have a negative attitude and a bad communicator. I've been this way for nearly two decades. I reflect that on my husband, whom I put down all the time (subtly and I'm not aware that I am doing it) because I am not aware of how I communicate. We fight frequently because of this. He's told me many times over what I do, how it makes him feel and I always say that I didn't mean it, I didn't realize it but it's not enough. I don't mean it, am truly sorry, but can't seem to recognize/change my behavior even though I think I am working on changing. Why can't I change/stop being a horrible person and wife? It's ruining my marriage and will be all my fault. I am currently in therapy, on Wellbutrin XL (150mg) + prozac (5mg), have read tons of self-help books and yet I never progress. I guess this is not really a question but just venting. Thanks.
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