Why do most everyone here feel that suicide is the wrong choice?

Posted by heartbrokenwoman 62 days ago (Question)

Why do most everyone feel that suicide is the wrong choice?
I am at that point now. I mean I can see a wondrful life, but I have looked at it from afar for so long now that I cannot see how I will ever reach it. My sisters and children and friends all think I am a pain in the ass because I have feelings and they would rather not deal with my feelings. I do not know how to live without feelings.. I do not think they are excessive either, at least not until I have let it be known that I need something and I get shined on instead of helped. I can offer you that I do come from an alcoholic home and that is a lot of what I have to deal with among my associations. I am thinking that everybody I know a codependent personality so I am up against this denial in almost all interactions that I have to deal with on an everyday basis. Also I am a nurse and have the same personalities at work. I think I fess up to being codependant and do not act the way that others do but I am chastised for expecting too much from others like respectful attentions, calling and/or writing and affirmations of love and respect and encouragements when they feel I am feeling low. They say Oh here we go again kind of tsk-tsk attitude! Today I had this same scenerio again with my daughter. I just have so much nothing in my life. 65 y/o and no money, no home, no love/understanding and I am crying out to a web site to people I do not know a thing about becaues I am feeling that I do want to end it all ...probably tomorrow. Please give me some feed back as to why you all feel that life is worth it? I just have so nothing......

8 Answers

Answers

Written by leonita 62 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

okay hunny,

relax, take a deep breath.

thoughts of suicide are not wrong, but you should not go through with it. I too suffer with suicidal thoughts and it is a struggle, i know.

most people do not understand. i too had trouble getting my best friend to understand my thoughts so i sent him to this link http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/.

once he read it he seemed to understand much more. maybe you can try it with your friends and family. do not get frustrated keep trying. If they dont hear you, someone will. have you thought of counseling? i suggest it will be a good idea. that doesnt mean your crazy, you just need a little help, we all do.

life gets better. you may not feel like it right now but it does. trust me. i have see people hit their lowest points and now are doing better.

let me know anything?

take care sweetheart.

it will all be okay.just relax.

Written by Thumbelina 61 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Hi heartbrokenwoman,

You listen to Leonita, I was just talking to her. You know why? Because she's a good one to talk to, she was helping me. She was letting me help her with a problem.

I am also a child from an alcoholic family and I'm bipolar, too. I had so many problems that many, many times I wanted to end my life. But by the grace of God, I didn't. At the age of 41, I was blessed with a beautiful child, a son. He is almost 16 years old and the joy of my life. If I had committed suicide, I would not have this joy.

Did you know that over 85% of people who become nurses come from alcoholic homes? That's because they grow up being caretakers of the adults around them. I'm sure you knew this because you said it's the same where you work. But you know what? It doesn't have to continue being horrible for you. There are people like you and me who have changed their lives. They have discovered how to un-learn the misery that they learned in their alcoholic families. I did. And lots of people I know have. It's through the Al-Anon Adult Children programs. Also, some health facilities sponsor them as well as some churches. We also have an Adult Children of Alcoholics Forum on the other side of Psych Central. It is never too late for you! It is never too late to begin to be happier. Please believe me.

You said you want these things: " respectful attentions, calling and/or writing and affirmations of love and respect and encouragements when they feel I am feeling low". It is NOT too much to ask. You can have those things. You simply need to learn how to find them.

Please believe that it can be better for you. I also have a username on the other side of this forum. If you come over there and join, just ask for me and mention that you are looking for me. I will be glad to talk to you.

Please take good care of yourself and don't give up hope.

Written by Thumbelina 61 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I forgot to mention that it's a different username but just tell them that it's thumbelina on the Q&A and I'll find you.

Written by Chemar 61 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Hello heartbrokenwoman

I so agree with leonita and thumbelina. You *are* worthwhile and I do hope you will make contact with others on the forums who can extend the care and support to you that comes from people who do understand and who value others who are struggling

just in case you dont know how to find your way to the forums, here is the link to PsychCentral community boards

http://forums.psychcentral.com/

and the sister site, NeuroTalk, also has a very deeply caring Survivors of Suicide forum, where many of the members have lost a loved one to suicide, or survived their own attempt. They are one of the most caring and honest groups of people you could ever hope to find.

here is that link for you

http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/forum29.html

Your life is already precious to us 3 people here. I pray you will find much hope and encouragement!

Written by moods711 61 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

hello heart broken woman ~

first I want to say I am sorry you feel so sad and alone. there is nothing wrong with reaching out to the internet for answers....sometimes we have to when those around us can't give us what we need.

the people around you are acting like you are a burden because they can't give you what you are looking for.

they may be able to relate to you feeling heart broken - and they may offer some advice or suggestions - but they can't explain why your pain won't go away - why the emptiness can't be filled.

we can't get what we need from people - because few people know how to consciously give love. they give imperfect love - because they are imperfect.

all humans are imperfect, and this imperfection is not only the cause of their pain - but the reason they have time.

time is to get answers - to figure life out - and pain pushes humans (that have heart) to look for them.

without pain - most people would just live and not think about anything.

because you are older - and don't have many distractions - your pain is hard to ignore.

one thing to remember is to be human means to suffer - so everyone around you feels empty and pain - but they ignore it - and get distracted - to think they do not feel this way.

this is how your pain can become a blessing - because it will force you to either force quit (suicide) or to get answers.

most people go to religions when they feel this way because they look for a higher power to make sense of time, life, pain, purpose, suffering, emptiness, insanity etc etc -

the only thing is religion offers some answers - but not all the answers - it can explain some things - but not everything - which means it is imperfect - just like the people around you - it can offer some relief - but it will only be a matter of time before it comes back - or feel like it isn't enough

i came across this really amazing blog post on oprah.com that explained so much about what it means to be human - and what it means to want more.

if you are in a mental/spiritual/emotional place where you feel like there is nothing else you can do but suicide - i think you should read this post first -

i do not know if you believe in life after death - but it is a 50/50 chance - and if there is life after death - then you might want to find out more about that before you end your time here (before it's your time to go) - because there must be a reason you have time.

if you have internet access - start looking for answers. follow your heart - it will give you suggestions of where to begin - it doesn't have to be religious - or spiritual - just follow your "gut" and you might be surprised to see where it leads you.

meantime i will paste the post that i saw on oprah below and here is a link if you want to read more of his posts - if you still have time - you should use it to figure life out - figure out why your heart is broken - and do it on your own - don't rely on therapist - or a religion - or a doctor - or a guru - find your own answers - even if that means talking or going to all of the places and people i just listed - but don't take their every word for it - just listen to your heart - and pay attention to your feelings - subconsciously you know what is true (right) and what is a lie (half truth).....

put together your own answers - and then if and when you do decide to still leave this place - you will be doing it because you are ready - and not because you are devastated.

there are answers to be found - if we look and want to find them....

know that you are loved - or you would not have life -

and remember - never determine your worth by the actions of others - because until they are perfect - they are not an accurate reflection of how much you do matter!

moods711

(be sure to stop by this link if you want to read more because the user posts replies to many of the comments/questions other users have.)

Link to the oprah post: http://www.oprah.com/community/thread/105010;jsessionid=ac11087830d6b52b2bb1b7214eac87aea1b3db663bd2.e38LaxmSb3qRe3iPe0?tstart=0

Written by Adia 61 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Listen i'm 16 and in the same place you are. I'm amost drunk right now... I dont recoment drinking thought, not fun. I just wanna die... but please I'm still hanging on, and you can too. You have to have some fun some time in your ilfe right? All those times.. You'kll be just rotting in the ground. Be there for all those people dealing with the same thing...

Written by nancyboyer 60 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

AS bad as it gets suicide is not the answer.I have been in your place a lot..I'm bipolar and sometimes it dose seem like a good idle..but it's not..what I have done is ask for help from people who cares..I go to therapy.see my Dr. and yes there as been times when i have gone in the hospital, which was the right place for me. You need to fine out why you feel this way,if your family won't give you support go to local groups that work with this you will be surprise on how much help and support you can get there and keep writing us here.. we care.. you are important

Written by Clyde 46 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Life is worth it, believe me. Suicide does sound like the easy way out until you realize that you cheated yourself of your life, and you can find other groups and support than just your family and present friends.

Please dont give up.

Best,

Clyde