Avatar Posted by sakurakagome 27 days ago (Question)
Every since I remember I have had to live in family where my mom has being an abuser, my dad, my brother, have had to suffer. My dad would have left my mom a long time ago if it was him but hes only still married with my mom because he knows it would affect us. Me and my brother have been abused like beaten/hit, yelled at and insulted very badly. But I have had it the worst. All this has happened through out my life and im only 16 years old. Since i was little i was hit mainly for no reason, or her reasons of hittin me where no valid like she hit me because i would finsh my food and i was about to through up, and if i did finsh i would through up and i would get hit and yelled at, all this at a very young age when i lived in chicago. Once i remember she got mad at me when i was 9 because she claimed that i closed the basement door when and that we were locked in basement but i would like the basement door because it could only be locked by the outside, it was my brother who was only 4 that locked the door,but she claimed that it was me and started hitting me not with a belt but with a broom stick of wood i started bleedin and she stopped and started sayin my sorry but i could not forgive her. I remember in order to cover up the bruises she would make me wear long sleeves and pants to over them and she would tell me to forget about and not tell anyone. I wouldnt. Until i was 11. when i was 11 she was screaming and yellin at me because i didnt want to clean my room, but she got so made she just hit me over and over and insulted me so badly, and my room truthfully was cleaned i just had to vacumm, well she said to get out of the house and i did and i ran away but then she went out to look for me and found me at my anuts house i didnt want to go back with her but she pulled me by my hair all the way into the car and drove me home where she hit me again. Then at the age of 12 my mom though my dad was cheatin on her but he wasnt. she went crazy and tried to kill herself and my dad stopped her. and told me to call the police and the police took her to a mental place where she spent 1 week there. then we moved to las vegas to start off new. she started to back off on hittin me but then she started to hit/insult/abuse, my brother. then in the 8th grade graduation, i did not receive an award, it was a mess up which i later did recieve that award, but she went crazy call me a liar about my grades and everythin that i was never goin to be someone in life that i would spend my life cleanin toilet for a livin, but it was so sad and insultin to me because i have tried my hardest to do my best and im a straight A student. Then just today i got insulted, hit, beat for no reason, she started yellin at me that all my effort of bein someone would be of waste, because i nothin but trash, she says i dont appreicate nothin she does for me, that i hate her, and that she hopes that my life will just be hell. she broke things that other people have given me that hold a special value to me and ripped so many things that i have worked hard to get such as certificates, honor rolls, and awards as such. I have not called the police because i just cant. My dad has tried to stop her but he would never hit her. Most of the cases above have happen while my dad was at work and these are also not all of them there just a few. it hard to know when my moms going to be happy like she was yesterday those days i love because she really nice and behaves like i would love her to behave everyday. but there are also most days where shes mean and cruel. I try to make my mom happy, there was this one day that i clean the whold house and she was happy and i did this continuously and it pleased her until one day that she was mad she hated it, and made the house a messin breakin glass cups, plates, whatever she could find and her reason for being mad was that i didnt clean the house right, so i started not to clean it anymore cuz she say so, and then she was mad that i didnt clean it. my mom says i dont appreciate nothin she gives me, but i do and i try to repay her but she thinks that everythin i do is worthless. she at times says she hates me and wishes i was dead, and at other shes like i love u. I am every confused and hate my life. My mom allows me to do nothin but to study. I have no real friends i feel always so alone with not one to talk to. there only one person that i trust and he like a brother to me. i have no relatives who care for me either they are all hypocritics. i need help and i need people to listen to me and advice me. i can on longer bare with this, and i dont want to take my life just because i imagine that wat she would want me to do, i wont i want to be someone. i have and am working really hard to the point that i dont sleep because of school with homework, i am taking 10 classes as of right now and there college level classes, because im in IB, a program that is every advanced. Please listen to me.


Answers

Written by Fpsy 27 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Hi Sakura,

I don't know why your mom is abusing you. I am sorry to hear that you have to suffer so much. I replied to one of your other posts.

Are you in high school or college. if so there should be access to a counselor. I think it is a really good idea that you speak to counselor because they can help you.

Your mom isn't going to stop abusing you. You have to try to find a way to get help. I am going to post a kids helpline. It has weblinks to services where you can speak to someone. They won't tell anyone unless you want them too. It's free so you don't have to worry about money and it won't show up on your telephone bill. They will be able to help you better than us.

United States of America

Covenant House Nineline

Phone 1-800-999-9999

You can try this line as well

National Youth Crisis Hotline: 800-442-HOPE (4673)

Here is website that can also offer more information and you can send emails and get support

http://www.nineline.org/abuse_help.html

It's really difficult for us here to be able to say something that make your mom stop abusing you. That isn't going to happen. Your mom might have a mental illness that medication isn't working for, or it might be something else. Either way it is illegal for her to abuse you. You don't have to just put with it. You can reach out for help.

Can you speak to a family member. Are you able to stay with your aunt. I know that you don't want to call police and that is a big thing to do and it feels like you might get her into trouble. But what might happen is that she goes to parenting classes and learns how to deal with things properly so that she doesn't hurt you anymore. If you go and stay with your aunt, you can tell your mom if she tries to come and get you again, that you will call the police. I think this is the only way to stop her from hurting you.

Written by sakurakagome 27 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

thanks for your advice i cant really stay at my anuts not more because she lives in chicago and im living in las vegas and if i did threat my mom that i would call the police she wouldnt really care shes already told me that i can call the police anytime i wish but it would be me the one to suffer more because i would be taken away from my brother and my dad and i dont want that to happen

Written by Chemar 27 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

hello Sakura

I hope you will call those numbers and look at the website that Fpsy has given you

My heart goes out to you as it is so wrong that you are suffering this way. it really does sound like your mom has some kind of mental health problems and she needs help. Does your dad know that she is still abusing you and your brother?

you sound like a really special girl and I hope and pray that you wont have to be hurt this way anymore. Please talk to your dad. It is time for him to take charge and protect you and your brother, and if he will not do that, you need to talk to your school counselor or to someone at those numbers above. You can call those places anonymously and get advice.

I hope you will be able to find safety and that your mother will get the help she needs to stop abusing her children.

Written by Fpsy 27 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Hi sakura,

your mom is telling you that, so that she can control you. I think it's really important that ring one of the numbers that I have given you. They will be able to help you better than we can. If someone from child services visits, it doesn't mean that you will be taken away. Your mom may have to go to a parenting program and learn how to cope better. Your dad and you and your brother might be given help to find a new place to live, where your mom can't hurt you.

Your dad needs to know that staying with your mom, is actually worse for you and your brother, not the best idea. Tell him how much she abuses you, tell him you can't take it anymore. He needs to know what is happening. Perhaps you and your dad can go to a local community health center,or see your local doctor together about what your mom is doing.The doctor might be able to provide you with support services to help you.

Your dad works, so he is able to support and provide for you. You don't have to put up with this. He might need some help from someone in learning how to deal with your mom.

I don't wont you to be afraid that you will be taken away. But I want you to ring one of those number, or speak to someone at one of the websites via email.

Can you speak to the school counselor, they can help you. If you reach out for help, it doesn't mean that child services are going to come in and take you and your brother away. Please contact your school counselor or one of the crisis numbers I have given you.

Written by AppleJuiceGirl 26 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I'm so, so sorry to hear you have to deal with this. All of the above posters have good advice. You need to speak to a counselor, someone that can help you. Your mom has no right to do any of this. You are her daughter and your brother is her son, but she does not OWN you like a dog or cat.

You need to seek help for you and your little brother. Your mother is unpredictable, and well, who knows how far she'll go when she's angry? Again, I'm so sorry you have to go through this. Good luck and keep updating!

Written by Clyde 25 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Hi there.

Please call the numbers or talk to your school counselor. Your Mom needs help and will not stop.

You all deserve not to be hurt, and there are still chances that you all can stay together, especially since your Dad is there.

Best,

Clyde

Written by lovelearnlive 24 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Sakura,

The short answer to your question is: mom may not be well mentally.

You need help so you can be safe and you mother needs help so she can be well. Keep this "big picture" in mind when you search for solutions.

I am writing this as a mom that had previously behaved similarly. Such abusive behavior causes emotional trauma to the ENTIRE family. The situation must be halted immediately! I'd recommend starting with the school counselor. Keep in mind that the goal of your actions (whomever you go to) is for you/brother to be safe and for mom to be helped.

It is a lot to ask from a 16 years old but you seem to be the only person that can make a difference. Remember to team work with dad as much as you can. My heart goes to you. Take immediate action and keep posting.


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