Hello,
So I'm having a problem with life. May sound kind of stupid when you think about it because I know everyone goes through hard times in life...but the question is how do you get through those hard times? That's what I would love to know. My life is a living hell. My mom is always yelling at me or interrogating me for the stupidest things. Just a few minutes ago she was interrogating me about when I ate last. I don't find that any of her business. Who cares if I'm not hungry. She is really pushing my buttons. I mean I would like to be on good terms with her but I'm not sure how to do that. I am so stressed ALL time and I'm a few minutes away from losing it. I just want to go somewhere far away and relax for awhile and let everything go. I want to go somewhere and cry and let everything out that I've been keeping in for years. I want to be somewhere by myself where I can think in peace and just let all my emotions out. I certainly can't share them with anyone around me because they will most likely judge me or say I'm weak. I want to go somewhere where I don't care about everything being clean organized and perfect. I want to be somewhere where others opions don't matter to me. I want to escape life. But how do I do that? How do I even begin to explain something like this to my parents? I mean they should get the hint that there part of the reason I'm like this. There the ones who press my buttons most. So how do I tell them I need to go away for awhile and just be away from my family? There not going to be like okay goodbye there going to want to sit down and talk and I can't do that. I'm so confused with life right now. I'm so stressed and just want to scream.
If anyone has any idea how to help me in any way please I could use all the help I could get. Any advice I can get is so much appreciated like you have no idea what it would mean to me.
Thanks so much for taking time out of I'm sure your very busy like to help.
Thanks again,
Fashiongurl
So I'm having a problem with life. May sound kind of stupid when you think about it because I know everyone goes through hard times in life...but the question is how do you get through those hard times? That's what I would love to know. My life is a living hell. My mom is always yelling at me or interrogating me for the stupidest things. Just a few minutes ago she was interrogating me about when I ate last. I don't find that any of her business. Who cares if I'm not hungry. She is really pushing my buttons. I mean I would like to be on good terms with her but I'm not sure how to do that. I am so stressed ALL time and I'm a few minutes away from losing it. I just want to go somewhere far away and relax for awhile and let everything go. I want to go somewhere and cry and let everything out that I've been keeping in for years. I want to be somewhere by myself where I can think in peace and just let all my emotions out. I certainly can't share them with anyone around me because they will most likely judge me or say I'm weak. I want to go somewhere where I don't care about everything being clean organized and perfect. I want to be somewhere where others opions don't matter to me. I want to escape life. But how do I do that? How do I even begin to explain something like this to my parents? I mean they should get the hint that there part of the reason I'm like this. There the ones who press my buttons most. So how do I tell them I need to go away for awhile and just be away from my family? There not going to be like okay goodbye there going to want to sit down and talk and I can't do that. I'm so confused with life right now. I'm so stressed and just want to scream.
If anyone has any idea how to help me in any way please I could use all the help I could get. Any advice I can get is so much appreciated like you have no idea what it would mean to me.
Thanks so much for taking time out of I'm sure your very busy like to help.
Thanks again,
Fashiongurl
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Answers
Fashiongurl, if a parent asking what or when you ate last is "pushing your buttons" you need psychotherapy to find out why, imo. That's a normal question and concern from a parent. It isn't normal to be set off by it. Unless you have something to hide. :(
You sound truly depressed, and not just unhappy with your parents but with all of life. Perhaps your parents keep pulling you back from the darkest part of depression and that's what makes you unhappy with them? Depression has a way of trying to get rid of any good in your life, and takes away all the happiness. It also tells you lies.
It's rather normal to be a bit confused about life as a teenager, but it does sound like you are having more difficulty than normal.
You do need someone to sit down and talk with, and since that can't be your parents at this point, you need to find a counselor. Your school counselor can help set up an appointment with a psychologist, and can also help your parents understand you need one.
Good wishes
drjean
Drjean,
It does press my buttons when they are constantly asking when I last ate or what I had, It pushes my buttons and annoys me oh so very much. I don't have anything to hide. I mean I want to loose about 20 pounds but I'm in no way starving myself to loose it. The don't know that I want to loose the weight and the probably never will.
The thing is I don't feel depressed at all, yeah I'm sad and pissed off a lot but I'm not sure about depressed. I have rather big mood changes but I think depressed is a strong word.
I am very confused, People tell me I'm paranoid and have OCD and that I'm a perfectionist so I'm not even sure what to think about myself any more. I mean I already have bad self esteem and then you add all the stuff my family and friends are telling me and its like one huge mess that I can't seam to get organized. The only thing I do agree with them on is I'm a very very big perfectionist but that's okay because that's who I am. I need everything around me to be perfectly clean and organized everything dusted and vacuumed and just clean.
I really can't go to anyone and talk about this because I can't do that. I won't allow myself to be put in a vulnerable position to get hurt.
Thanks again
Fashiongurl
Hi FashionGurl,
I was hoping you were seeing a counselor by now. I really do honestly think, as I have mentioned previously, you do need to see one.
Have you been working more in school? You gotta keep that fashion dream alive, right? :)
Talk to your school counselor first, explain to her how you feel, and perhaps they can set you up with a psychologist?
Best as always,
Clyde
Fashiongurl, being miffed (anger) is a component of depression. Perfectionism is not a good way to be, btw. Not being able to accept the way you are has now included not being able to be happy with your parents and your life in general. Sometimes when someone has overbearing parents such perfectionism can occur, trying to take control of things that you can control, since you can't seem to control anything that your parents are involved in.
Why can't you go talk to anyone about "this?" I think you are expressing yourself well to us here, to Clyde and myself. What makes it feel impossible to do this face to face, do you know?
One way you could possibly calm your parents about whether you are eating or not is to enlist their help. You should be able to talk to them about wanting to lose some weight. Is there a particular size you are aiming for? Why not talk to whomever buys the food and ask for some favorite items?
Yes, depression is a strong word. I used it on purpose. I feel you need professional help to sort your feelings and actions out, and guidance on what is in your own best interest. You might be doing some good things for yourself, but some of your symptoms express that you aren't doing enough good self care.
You aren't expected to know everything, and how to fully help yourself. Perhaps your perfectionism is telling you that you "should" be able to do this on your own, without an adult's help?
Now, think... who in your life can you ask for help? Even if they aren't the one to counsel you, they can talk with you about finding someone to help you on a long-term basis.
I know you said you "can't" but you sound like a strong person who has already gone through a rough time... and I believe you can do this... you are worth it, don't you think?
drjean