My sister and I no longer live at home. My mom works from home as a massage therapist. My dad works with computers and is constantly on call. When he's not at work, my mom puts him to work - building things, doing chores around the house, etc. She also flips out about very mundane things - if something is broken, she's mad at my dad for not having fixed it sooner. If he didn't know it was broken, she's angry that he didn't know. If he's not around to fix it right away, she's angry at that and she's even angrier when she can't find the tools to fix it herself, or can't figure out a way to solve the problem. It's like she needs something to be angry at. I want to say something, but I don't know what to say.
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Answers
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Girlbot, I'm sorry your folk's relationship is actively poor. You can't, nor should you, tell your mom how to act. You can make notes about how not to treat a husband though, for your own future use.
Why not talk with your dad instead? Tell him how your mom treats him and talks to him upsets you. It's up to him to take your mom aside and work out the kinks in the marriage. If he won't or can't, then there's nothing you can do but express your upset with both of them, to them.
It could be that you are being sensitive to their relationship this way because you have needs that are being overlooked by them. Why not talk to your school counselor or favorite teacher about how the home environment is not helping you feel good about yourself. Find out healthy ways to cope with the situation. You need an adult to help you do this. If it isn't your dad or mom, then someone else you can trust needs to know.
Take care.
drjean
(((Girlbot)))
Sometimes you have to just let people deal with issues on their own. I know you don't want to, and I respect that.
It probably would be best for your Dad to be the one who does the talking, as your Mom may feel that since you are her kid, she could basically do what she wants, regardless of how you feel about it.
Has she always had anger management issues? Has she ever been to a therapist or a counselor to discuss her anger?
For now, it may be best to try to teach her relaxation techniques--ways to calm herself down so she doesn't get as stressed out and feels better.
Hope this helps.
Best,
Clyde