Ive been in therapy for a year.My Therapist is wonderful,and has helped me enormously.I have got to a point where i should tell him of my experience of date rape.I just cant tell him.I try to get the words out,but i just cant do it.Ive written it down,but cant hand the paper to him either.Ive been open about everything else.Has anyone got any advice?Why cant i tell him?
When i try,i experience panic and major anxiety.
When i try,i experience panic and major anxiety.
A place to come to ask and answer questions from others on mental health and relationship issues.
Copyright © 1992-2008 Psych Central. All rights reserved.
Answers
(((Moonfruit)))
I am so sorry you have these feelings in which you feel you cannot discuss this important information with your therapist. Sometimes, it does take a little while, and of course, it has to be horrendous for you to discuss otherwise you would of mentioned it to him already.
For one thing, it is incredibly hard to trust ANYONE to discuss these kinds of issues, so God Bless You with that. You feel hurt, abandoned, among other things. That has to be a horrible feeling.
You could start by telling your therapist that there are things that are hard to discuss in therapy. You could discuss how hard it is for you to sometimes discuss things in therapy and you wish you could tell more.
Best of luck, and you are courageous and you can do it! I am so proud of you for coming this far!
Clyde
Thank you Clyde.I guess Im worried as ive been in therapy for a year already.I should be able to talk about it by now.I also feel like Im letting him down,and myself!
(((moonfruit))) I'm concerned that you are saying you "should" be able to or have told your T about this already. Why do you think that? You will share it when you are able to. I think it's great that you have come to the point where you feel you WANT to share it, and work through it.
There really is more to it than "just" telling though, isn't there? Of course! It's a very traumatic, victimizing act that happened to you. I'm very sorry to hear of this, and want you to know that you will get through this, with time. But don't push yourself, don't force it.
I agree with Clyde that you could talk about how there are things you want to share but find hard to talk about. There's a good chance that your T, already working with you for a year, already has an idea that you have an underlying trauma.
Don't feel rushed. While having a great T that you trust for everything else, it can often take more than a year to disclose trauma issues. Be gentle with yourself and know that your inner wisdom will let you know when it's time to share. It might not be very easy, but you'll know. This is another time where going more slowly might be faster in the long run.
tc
drjean
Thank you drjean.I will talk to my T about it.I guess thats a good place to start as any.He did recently make a comment that everyone has a hidden story,so im sure he has an idea.I feel if i dont tell him,i end up lying,as ive already covered it up several times.
I do really appreciate your help.
(((Moonfruit)))
It is not that you are letting him down at all :) Lots of times, we dont tell our T's things we should tell them ahead of time.
That doesnt mean anything bad, it just means we have taken a bit of time to do so.
Best of luck :)
Hello! I agree with drjean, maybe you're just not ready to tell your T. If you really think you're ready, why don't you practice saying it to yourself several times then it may be easier to talk to him about it. Try writing him a letter, then you could always send it to him.
Also though, you need to give yourself credit for at least wanting to tell him! Many people keep that hidden for their entire lifetimes and never make the effort to reach out, so good job with that!
Keep on talking and best of luck,
Leanne