Avatar Posted by onyxangel 547 days ago (Question)
So I met this guy three years ago online believe it or not and now we are engaged!!! But I have been living in England on and off and come home to america on and off.

Problem is that I grew up in a pretty strict hispanic household eat with the family no exceptions, go out when we go out no real exceptions, this is all startng to really piss ...


Answers

Written by onyxangel 547 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

PART TWO!!!

my fiance off we are 24 and my mom treats my like im 13.

My fiance doesnt like my family because they think they are too controlling with me. My fiance and I call each other when we are goin out so the other knows what is going on (because we live in two different countries) this is just the way it is I like to know when he goes out so that I plan my day accordingly and we can still have time to talk & See each other online ( THERES A 5 HOUR DIFFERENCE!!) Its not to keep tabs on one another.

Today my mother said not asked "we are going to the movies" so of course Id like to go with the family but I needed to call my fiance, so he knows im going out and dosnt rush home thinking that Im avaliable to talk to him.

My mother didnt understand and huge!!!!! arguement broke out!!!

I dont know what to do anymore this is like an ongoing thing. What should I do my mom is such a strong headed person.. and I'm not a little girl anymore :(

Written by drjean 547 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

onyxangel, it sounds like you are wanting freedom from not only your family, but from your culture. I know the closeness the hispanic heritage expects when it comes to family. I also know the freedom that not only the USA, but traveling, gives. You seem to have tasted the freedom and want it for yourself.

There is no easy answer. If you, and your fiance, cannot find a happy medium for yourselves (not your mom, as she sounds very controlling) then the relationship won't work. Work together to find your own guidelines, and together let the family know what you have decided. Don't let this common struggle pull you apart.

good wishes

drjean

Written by Clyde 545 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Hi there...

As Jean said, it is important for you to set the guidelines for your relationship and your family. I know that you don't want to anger either your family or your fiancee, but you have to do what you have to do. You have to be happy, right?

The only thing I don't get is necessarily why you would have to call your fiancee to let him know you are going to the movies. Couldnt he just left a message on your phone, or you could of put it on vibrate? I can understand you dont want to be "unavailable" but with relationships, it does work both ways.

Best,

Clyde


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