He forgets his home work, or forgets to turn it in. He is failing school because of missing assignments. Hates school and teachers say he is capable of doing better. Had him tested for ADD and he doesn't have it, but drags his feet on doing anything.
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Answers
Have you checked if he is having problems at school as like with bullies or somesuch? Have you talked to the teachers about the problem? I know they say that he could do much better, but if he hates school and always is forgetting to do his homework, or anything with school, it makes me feel that there is a problem there with something or someone.
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ADD/ADHD
He sounds like my brother and that is what he has.
Hi nonnie! I'm glad you did have him tested for ADD, and also glad he is free from that. Did you have him evaluated by a psychologist overall? Sometimes they can expose just what is causing this behavior.
When did he have his eyes checked last? Sometimes not being able to see really well can cause this response.
Try to keep encouraging him, supporting him without berating him. Tell him what a great guy he is and how you appreciate him as a son. It might be that just one person said something really negative and he took it to heart.
TC
drjean
Hi Nonnie.
I feel for your son, first off being 14 is tough enough as it is with puberty and all. There are a number of things to check for here.
How is he doing socially? Does he have any friends he regularly interacts with our does he tend to stick to himself? This could be an indicator that he might be in a situation with a bully or have an issue with social skills or social anxiety.
Has the school tested him both academically and psychologically for any sort of learning disorder or other issue? Sometimes (like with my daughter) you have to basically demand the service from the school to get it done, or they just let the kids slip through the cracks. check into it.
Who did the testing for ADD/ADHD? I decided to go straight to a psychiatrist for evaluation at our local hospitals child and family mental health clinic, they used a multitude of standard fill in the blank, check offs, papers to make the diagnosis process more accurate and check for other issues like bipolar, depression, aspergers, etc. If he's only been tested by a family doc for ADD I'd get a second one done by a psych. and have more than one test done, cover the scope to rule out other possibilities?
How's his eating habits? eats you out of house and home, or picky? no appetite or good one?
What about his sleeping patterns, does he go to sleep easily, good duration, does he have nightmares, wake up often during the night, bed wetting, etc... sleep deprivation or poor sleep can cause the symptoms you describe too in some kids/adults.
hearing and eyes should be checked yearly, that could be a contributing factor.
There is also the question of culture, is he new to the school, are you from a different culture that is not as popular at the school? ( I came to Canada from England at age 11 , went through hell with teasing about accents, etc it was terrible, and caused major depression and socialization issues...)
Have you spoken to his teachers? Classroom issues, where does he sit in class, can he be moved to the front or closer to the front if he is in the back so he can be monitored closer? (if the teachers are 'willing' that is... )
Family dynamics is also a contributing factor... have you recently moved home, separated/divorced/remarried/new relationship in your life, etc... sibling issues... again something to see if it could be a factor here also.
Have there been any personality changes, mood swings, temperament, angry, sad, flat, etc... you need to tell the psych about anything like that. and when they started, duration, and how prevalent they are in strength.
Family history, mental health, chemical imbalances, personality disorders, learning problems, diabetes, thyroid, etc... thyroid can cause those symptoms too.
When was his last physical, was there a standard blood test done to check all the usual things like thyroid, cbc, b12, etc... ???
It kind of boils down to a good broad spectrum thorough screening of a multitude of possible causes by a psychiatrist , a pediatric one would be best, check with your fam doc for a referral, see if you have a children's mental health dept at your local hospital, or other agency that deals with children and mental health. Therapy could be a positive move, it has helped with my daughter, who's depression was compounded with add and a divorce. And definitely a good physical with full spectrum blood/urine testing done to check for any hormonal or chemical level problems.
Keep us informed... and best of luck to you both.
give him a good hug if he is open too it. :-)
tinkerbell