I've not thrown up for four months now and all the sudden I'm doing it again, my mind keeps telling me i'm SO FAT and the one way that works really well is this, I love the feeling i get after i do it...but i hate the feeling i get when i think about disapointing My: parents, grandparents, shrink, MD doctor, friends, random people i dont even know who find out somehow and look at me like there sorry for me. Its all to much right now, I don't know if relapes is normal or not but its happening and i don't want to tell anyone i know personally...what do i do?
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Answers
SGL,
You do have to tell others about what is going on so they can help you again.
Relapse is a normal part of life. Don't take it as you are weak or foolish or anything. You, I, and everyone else is human and we have to continually, daily, hourly, minutely work on ourselves to keep feeling "good" or fine.
Has there been stressors in your life recently? New ones, I mean?
You will do fine...I have so much faith in you. PLEASE let your family know so they can help you again. It sounds like they love you--let them love you.
Best,
Clyde
SGL, you don't really know what others are thinking when they look at you, do you? I mean, you can't read minds. :)
I doubt a doctor would pity you; it just isn't part of the process.
Realize that your emotions are what runs this...feelings of being fat (when I assume you really aren't?) And if you have been thinking about it more, or as Clyde suggested perhaps have an increase in the stress in your life, then you probably would resort to the same "comfortable" coping mechanisms. Don't tell yourself you're a failure and thus don't need to try. You do need to continue to try not to cope with things in your life this way. (((hugs)))
Do you have a doctor you can talk with at length about how you are feeling? That you feel better immediately afterwards is normal. The purging of all the stuff you don't like going on in your life would do that. But it's only symbolic. Maybe if you find some things that you do have control over in your life, making good changes for the better for yourself, that will ease the terrible feelings you have that drive you to do this.
tc
drjean
thank you so much for your answer, i'm trying really really hard to stop, mmm i'm not sure what stresses are in my life, i'ver decided to start jogging :D thanks again for your answer.