Avatar Posted by becky15 213 days ago (Question)
ive known her for nearly two years and for the whole time ive known her we have been best friends.but the thing is she has been lying all this time making up peopel lying about getting kicked out of home ,drugs, getting high and drunk all the time.she told me she has two brothers and a sister and one step sister.But i know that this is not true she only has one brother.She says she is a pro iceskater, skateboarder a apretise chef and that she had so many jobs working in kitchens.ive seen her skate twice before and iceskate and she is only ok.So many people from mine and her group know she lies.but they wont do anything about it they just tell me and expect me to do something about it.she even lies about going to jail and her friend getting send there all the time ,she says she has a car and drives to skool(she is 15)there has to be a stop to it im her best friend there is no point in lying to me.the peopele she makes up the only time u ever get to talk to them is over msn. some of them live over seas and all she does is cahnge the name and then act like she is them.They all surprisingly know the pass word and everything to her account they never have there own account.and all those peopel talk about is her and if i get tehm to tell me how many siblings they have it always changes, one day they only have brotehrs and then they have sisters too.there is just so much that dosent add up all our friendship has ever been are lies and im so over it.im always the one getting hurt because of her fake peopel and her lies.ive tried for so long to play arlong hoping she would stop and relise im her friend no matter what.i have so much to deal with rigth now i dont wanna get hurt more.she always complains about her life about how much those peoepl hurt her too and love her .i never get to meet those peoepl.she even fakes phone calls and the she is all pissed and upset.sometimes on msn she would put a different name and then like one time sayto me she committed suicide.tehn i get someoen to call her homephone nad ask for her and i iwll find out it was all a lie aparently teh person was trying to make her out as a liar so no one will believe her anymore. why does she do it she has so many great friends but by the way she is acting she is lossing them.now again we had a fight over msn becasue of nothing. im so sick of it all this has done is make me more depressed. she knows what shit ive gotten into but she dosent care. i was smoking teh other day at skool and she wanted one so i gave her one cause she said she smoked before she just quiet for ages. even if u havent smoked for ages u should know how to light it and she was ctaing like i did when i smoked for teh first time.i dont wanna get her started in all this shit she just makes me believe she has done it and done more tehn me.im not gonner ruin her life i refuse to get her started in all this shit but she got to stop lying to me.one day our friendship i sworth so much teh next its not.what should i do should i just end it now.HELP!!!!i cant deal with this much i need to sort out my mess toand i do wanna help her but i just feel like im not strong enough right now to tell her the truth. what pisses me of teh most i she would watch me cry and say some guy probably just called her a bitch.she knows im not like that.sometiems she acts like we have never been best friends like she dosent know anything about me.she would just call me all this shit over msn i never do caus eif i so and dont mean it im only going to regret it she says shit anyway.HELP!!!
sorry about all the writing


Answers

Written by Edahn 213 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

She sounds like a lot of drama. Why don't you tell her that if you catch her in another lie, you will be forced to end the friendship. Let her know that she doesn't have to lie and ask her why she thinks she does it. Be prepared with some good evidence to confront her on her habit.

Written by bellacutie 213 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I agree this is alot of drama. It almost sounds like she's a pathologiclal liar. It also sounds like a TOXIC friendship. Have a long talk with her and ask her nicely why she lies - then warn her that it has to stop or you'll end the friendship.

It sounds like your friend is very troubled. I could be she suffers from self esteem issues and feels she has to lie to get attention. perhaps she feels her life is inferior and has to build it up to feel accepted. Most liars fear they aren't good enough and that's why they weave their lies. Tell her that this isn't how friends should behave. Be careful with the MSN - my daughters 11 and it's crazy all the MEAN talk that goes on there. Stick to positive conversation, not gossip. Go outside and enjoy your young life. Don't get caught up in her drama. GL

Written by drjean 213 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Becky, I'm wondering what about her makes her your best friend? Surely there's something that draws you to her and keeps you caring. Your friend does need professional help. Maybe you could go with her to see the school counselor?

You say she isn't happy, and indeed if someone "lies" about wanting to commit suicide it should be taken seriously. You need help to help your friend, imo, so at least YOU might consider going to speak with the counselor alone.

Why not share how her lying affects you, and others? You could suggest that she would make a terrific author, writing books and stories that encompass all these evidences of an active imagination. It might also help her to realize that there's fantasy and there's reality.

I know how difficult it is to not discuss others, but it does sound like a good idea to keep your conversations with her all about you and her and what you want and things you do, and leave others out of it for the time being.

She does need help. I hope you can truly be a good friend and help her find it.

good wishes

drjean

Written by becky15 210 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

thanks this raelly helped. there is one problem seeing teh skool councler isent a good idear.i went there with one of my friends because she was cutting herself and they ended up calling her parents and old tehm she had a problem but they didnt tell her parents about the cutting.me nad her used to be raelly close but i lost her through my now best friend. i dont really know why but we are slowly talking with each other again.it would be nic eto know what sh ethings but i dont think i can trust her enough after all tehy are best friends too it used to be the three of us.i was wondering if there are any councler i could c without my parents finding out. it would help me get my life back on track and help her out better.because our problems somehow made us best friends which now for her turned out to be mostly lies.i have a job so i could pay if i need to.if i do c one at skool and i dont wanna do it by myself who should i take with me and i wont say her name that way there i sno chance tehy could call her parents.i cant c a councler at skool for my own problems i just cant trust the lady there and i dont raelly liek counclers but im gonner give it a shot for her after all she is my best friend and its time to turn my own life around before its to late.

thanks

P.S could it be that she is trying to make her life sound worse then mine she usually say taht my life compared to hers would be a walk in the park or something like that and all her fake friends on MSN have some kinda hard life or criminal record.so if i started pretending and telling her how great my life is turning out to be that it might stop and help her.

Written by Clyde 200 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

It could very well be. Sometimes people feel that they must measure up to others, good or bad.

While it could be pathological lying, there are other causes underlying it, such as low self-esteem and poor boundary controls.

Best,

Clyde


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