Avatar Posted by harthelp 39 days ago (Question)
Hi there,

I need some advice. I'm 26 years old and I'm completely in love. I live in NYC with my boyfriend of one year. Last night my boyfriend (30) came home from work before I did and he invited his sister (33) over. We ordered in sushi and then he proceeded to tell me that he's been addicted to percocets for about 6 to 8 months. I didnt not know. He invited over his sister so he could gather the strength to tell me.
Lately he's been moody, angry, paranoid, sick-ish with stomach aches, runny noses, fatigue, fever sometimes. We have sex about once a week... often because he says he's tired or cannot get aroused. I should have put two and two together but I was not able to. When he admitted his addiction, the entire story came together and made total sense. He's running low on money(when we first started dating, money was NEVER an issue). He must have been spending 50-100 a day on these pills. But he recognized his problem and he's trying to handle it.
He hasn't taken a pill since 5pm yesterday and is trying to detox himself. His family knows what is going on. Tomorrow we are going to a rehab to admit him while he's going through withdrawals. I've never been through something like this and i'm very scared. I promised him I wouldn't tell my family so they dont have a downward looking eye at him, but I am feeling like I'm bearing this huge burden with no one to talk to.
I'm close with his family and they are good people. We are good people.
I'm trying to handle this as well as I can. His main concern is that I'm going to leave him. I will not leave him. I want to spend the rest of my life with this person. That was our plan... date, live together, get married and a house.
My question is, once we go through tonight with the withdrawals ... and tomorrow when i bring him to the rehab, how do i handle this all by myself? What do I do to not make him get an urge to start again? I'm completely lost and completely in love with this man. All i want is for him to get better (and i honestly beleive he will try to get better).
I am not going to tell my family - I dont want them to judge him for the rest of our lives.

Any comments??? Suggestions??? Advice??? Support???


Answers

Written by Chemar 39 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Hi

so sorry to hear you are having to go thru this as it is very hard to watch someone you love go thru withdrawal. Still the fact that he is doing this voluntarily is very encouraging!

I can understand why you feel it better not to talk with your family as yes, it could impact their view of him very negatively. But yes, you do need someone you can talk with, so glad you have started here.

Please do be prepared for the fact that he could go thru some very rough times while he gets cleaned up. It is good that he is going into rehab where they can monitor him and also provide therapy to help him form a foundation to stay clean. But even with that, he still has an uphill battle ahead, not just in staying clean but with what withdrawal can do.

If you are permitted to visit him in rehab, you may also be able to speak with the social worker and therapist assigned to him, and they should be able to better prepare you for what lies ahead

he is very blessed to have you, and I do hope he manages to get off and stay off!

Written by Clyde 39 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I dont see you by yourself. Make connections with his family. Check when you intake him if you are allowed to visit him while he is there.

Get the numbers and addresses of his family members and lean on them for support, at least as long as you dont let your own parents know about it.

If you dont want them involved, you could at least contact the other family or just let your family know you are a bit stressed lately.

Best,

Clyde


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