i tried to overdose infront of my fiance 2 weeks ago. hes cheated on me ages ago, we finally went to counselling this jan and in the end my fiance said that it destroyed us,i agree. it became very raw at the end and went round in circles. he finally said he wanted to finish which i wouldnt accept. after being together for 15 yrs, 2 engaged, i feel that ive put up with alot and if anything i should be the one to walk away. im in a difficult situation financially etc, long story! i couldnt see any way out, saw it as a choice to get away from all the suffering as id just had enough. he wanted to finish because he couldnt see how i was going to move on from the big issue of the affair. he thought it was too big a step for me to make but i had already decided to move on with him a week before my attempt.so i took advil etc infront of him, i really thought i wanted to go, get out of this world. ive been trying to work out what it was all about. when he was trying to grab pill bottle from me etc. i was secretly spitting out tablets from my mouth. he said that i scared him. i dont think i did it to 'keep' him, more for him to see just how serious i was about moving on with him and not being on this earth without him. after doing this we had a nice weekend downtown, celebrating 15yrs together of all things. after that im thinking can we really survive? surely he is thinking that he could never say he wanted to be rid of me ever again and feel trapped etc. i know it will only take me to walk away but i live abroad here in USA cos of his job, got no money to leave, no family, no job, no kids to live for.