Avatar Posted by amiphysco 83 days ago (Question)
I am 16 and I am male. Through all my life I have had emotions and I have cared for those close by me. I care about my friends and my mum and for my deceased father. However, I find that my mum makes me really angry sometimes that I get this feeling inside that I am going to just slip and hurt her. I always have been able to stop myself, mostly because I know that I would get into trouble, and then I think about how much I would hate it if I ever did that. I have a good school record for behavior, I have never done anything wrong in my life. But now I'm beginning to wonder... how much empathy do I really have for other people around me than myself? For the little mistakes I have made I always find myself instantly responding my avoiding the blame or trying to blame someone else. I often have arguments with my mum to do with telling her that I'm in charge of my own life and I can do whatever I want as is she. After all, we are equals. But I often find that whenever anyone has gotten me angry I have felt this urge to strike them especially when they are actually trying to annoy me. I have never actually hurt or hit anyone in my life. Sorry if this is a long question, but I guess I'm really asking whether I could be physco or maybe this is just built up anger?


Answers


bella
83 days ago
Hi - although we can't diagnose anyone online...from what you've written, you're not a psychopath. These feelings you're having sounds like some pent up anger and are quite normal TBH. Many teenagers even go through fleeting thoughts of hating their parents/family members. Its even normal to have a fleeting thoughts of hurting that person. As long as you don't have real intentions or act on these thoughts. A psychopath wouldn't be capable of feeling empathy or feel bad if a bad is deed is committed. They also wouldn't be worried having bad thoughts.

You're also at the age, where you're yearning for your own independence. Its normal for you and your mom to go through some tug of war battles, but all of this should be within reason though. You and your mom can learn to communicate better. One thing you need to remember is, you're still living in your mom's house, therefore its best to pick your battles wisely. You'll also gain more if you learn to solve conflicts the smart way, where you'll both benefit.

I often give a 'fighting fairly' link which I'll do at the end. This can be used by anyone but its best, the 2 parties read it and agree to follow the boundaries. We all get into fights and often our egos and emotions prevent us from communicating without hurting the other person. Make sure you're exercising regularly because this helps with managing stress. Deep breathing and relaxing for 15 min twice a days helps too. Good for you with doing well in school and I hope you / your mom will have a nice heart to heart, so you both can feel better. Stay on the good track at this critical stage of your life :)

http://blogs.psychcentral.com/adhd/2011/01/how-to-fight-fair-simple-rules-for-politicians-teachers-kids-and-relationships/
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amiphysco
83 days ago
Ok. I haven't exactly mentioned everything, but ok.
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amiphysco
83 days ago
Ok. I haven't exactly mentioned everything, but ok.
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bella
83 days ago
If you feel comfortable sharing more, I'm willing to listen. Sometimes we fear sharing because we think our problem is unique or strange....until we realize we're not alone. Is there something else you're feeling, that makes you think you're a psychopath?? A psychopath wouldn't be phased by bad thoughts. If you really feel like you could actually hurt your mom physically, then yes you should get some professional counseling...like anger management. The key point here is - is this a fleeting thought, which has no chance of happening or is there a chance of you acting on this thought?
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amiphysco
83 days ago
Honestly, I cannot tell you entirely everything where many other people can view it.
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bella
83 days ago
That's fine...if you still want to share with someone, you could talk to a therapist who's bound by confidentiality within legal limits. We also have a forum section, where they have private PM's, where you could talk one on one.
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