I am in an emotional abusive marriage. my children are beginning to believe my husband that I am crazy. I am now realizing what has been happening for years. I am not crazy and don't know what to tell my children?
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Answers
hMMM my main reply disappeared. :( I will not be able to readdress all the things I said.
Gettingstronger, I hpe you are ..getting stronger.
Please know that children see everything going on, and yes, they are going to lean towards the more abusive person since that is the person they fear most, and have to protect themselves. If that means turning against you, because you are not a threat, they will do so. Even small children see what is going on, but are helpless to change things and can only go into protection mode. It's up to you to give them a safe environment.
Do you have therapist to help you through this? You can contact Women in Distress if you live in the USA. They have many resources of how to get out of an abusive relationship safely. Have you considered a separation?
Please also know that abusive people only begin with verbal and emotional abuse. It nearly always accelerates into physical abuse. You need to make some tough decisions now, imo.
Let us know what you decide, okay?
take care
drjean
I was in and out of an emotionally abusive relationship for 22 years. I told my then 10 year old son that we were leaving his father because he was mean to me. My ex wasn't abusive to our son during our marriage but became abusive after the divorce and as our son got older. My son is now 16 and will not talk to his father because he called him a liar. I'm glad he isn't afraid of my ex like I was.
You need to leave your husband not only for your sake but for the sake of your children. I didn't realize how much the abuse my ex inflicted upon me affected my son. I do now and I'm glad I left.
Peace,
soul
I agree with everyone else...if you feel the marriage is bad for the children (and for yourself) why stay?
You do need to find out what you need for yourself, and how to help yourself, along with helping your children...however, you need to get out of the situation you are in, if you feel it is hostile, before you can make progress.
Best,
Clyde
My question is how can you stay in an emotional abusive marriage? For the end road for you is craziness. My mother was in one and my father told us and the court that she was crazy.
I can say, we start living the day she moves out of the house and ask for divorce. She slowly became an amazing person. It was not easy being a single mother with 4 children, but slowly she regains her strength and confidence, she returned back to school, and today, she is a well known University professor. the choice is yours. If you feel that by staying, playing martyr and loose all, is what you want??? well, it seems clear to me that you know what the problem is. How about finding what you want for YOURSELF. What your children are feeling is your emotional instability, and since your husband have already tag it as crazy. Well, Who do you think they will believe?
So take step to change the situation. Counseling? Psychiatrist? volunteering? school? Join a outing club?
Anything, as long as you don't feel sorry for yourself, for if you love yourself, other will love you.
Danielle