Avatar Posted by JasonXIII 34 days ago (Question)
I am 33 years of age and having issues with my personal life, marriage life and work life. I grew up in a hard environment, typical father who never showed any attention, was extremely moody and never really spent time with my siblings and I. I was a husky child, always bigger than the rest of the kids growing up, and this led to years of verbal as well as physical abuse from school mates, as well as some family members . This continued clear through high school, and now it continues sometimes at my workplace (I work in construction). I have become extremely paranoid thinking people constantly are talking about me, or do not like me. It has became so bad that I have isolated myself from any friends or family for the last 8 or so years, with the exception of my wife and kids, I have no social life what so ever. I have extreme bouts of rage, and become extemely irritable and throw tantrums. It's now starting to affect my wife, I love her dearly but I cannot control my anger. I am paranoid that she is going to leave me for someone better, and i am starting to accuse her of cheating on me because she has to work over sometimes at work (She is a Registered Nurse), although I have never harmed her physically, I have emotionally abused her with these accusations. These outbursts are now starting to happen at work when a coworker aggitates me with verbal joking, etc. So not only am I afraid of losing my wife, I am afraid im going to lose my job. I went to my primary care doctor about 2 years ago, and he put my on Xanax and referred me to a professional, but I ended up stop taking the medicine and never seen the professional because i felt the medicine wasnt helping with anything. All I do is sit in my computer room, and alienate myself from the world, because that way I dont have to deal with thinking people are making fun of me. But its starting to affect my marriage, and I would not want to continue on in life if my wife leaves me, she is the only friend I have but my mind is chasing her away. But I am afraid that I will lose her if i am mentally ill. I just want a normal life.


Answers

Written by AppleJuiceGirl 34 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

It would be a good idea for you to see a professional. The first thing you have to realize about medication is that they don't work overnight. Sometimes, it takes a long time to find the right dose and right medication that works, which is why it's also very important to follow up with your doctor after being prescribed medication. You have to realize there is no overnight cure. Following up with an actual psychologist/psychiatrist would be even better than a normal doctor since they're trained in behavioral therapy.

I think it's really great and very important that you realize you have a problem. The question now is, what are you going to do about it?

In my opinion, I think you should talk to your wife about this. She may be relieved to find out that you are unhappy with the way you have been treating her and want to change.

You should talk to your doctor and have him recommend a therapist for you to talk to. Since there are different forms of therapy, explain to your doctor the symptoms you have (rage, paranoia, anti-social behavior) and maybe he can give you a specific psychologist that is trained in that area.

Best of luck!

Written by Chemar 34 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Hi

I agree you need to return to a therapist rather than just your doctor. Most often it takes a combination of medication and therapy for positive results. The med is designed to help correct imbalances in your neurological functioning, but it is only when working through the issues, both past and present with the help of a trained professional, that you can get to the root of things and begin to heal more holistically.

also be sure to tell the therapist and your doctor that you didnt feel the xanax was helping and they may suggest another med...usually best prescribed after you have had at least one session with the therapist IMHO as then they can better tune the med to your situation.

hope things work out for you...you have suffered enough and it would be sad to have your family now suffering because of it too. If your car was in need of fixing, you would take it in to the auto shop.........time to make that appointment and get you fixed so that you can keep yourself and your family functioning.

Written by bellacutie 34 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I agree with the other posters about visiting your doctor. I'm very sorry you been bullied all your life. It's terrible that its happening at work and with your own family. I think you need to nicely talk to your wife - telling her what you told us here. Since you do love your wife and you don't want to lose her then you need to get yourself well.

Besides going to the doctor, I think you need to learn how to be assertive, especially at work and with the family members who've picked on you. Assertiveness doesn't mean you're going to be aggresive - it means you'll calmly stick up for yourself.

I know you're sensitive with your size - but I also think you need to lose some weight and start an exercise plan. You can also discuss this with your doctor. If you don't exercise you'll eventually become unhealthy. It will also help relieve stress. Once you've cleared it with your doctor - I want you to start brisk walking 4-5 times a week(take your wife with you) and also weight lifting. It will be very hard at first but after 2 months who'll start to feel better. Take a look at your diet and see where you can make changes - consult dietician. Sitting too long in front of the computer is the worst thing to do. You need to be PRO-ACTIVE in your own health.

I also recommend learning relaxation techniques like meditation and deep breathing exercises. When you're at work - walk with confidence. Have you complained to your superiors about those people?? Tell your wife how much you love her and that you want to start working on yourself. You can make this change. Best of luck!! Bella :)

Written by Clyde 32 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I want to be blunt. I think that if you do not return to a therapist, you will indeed lose her.

It is nice to hear that you are concerned about how things are going with your wife. You also need to learn better ways of dealing with your anger--hence the need to go back to the therapist.

I do think that the exercise thing will/would be important, but I do think the main things are seeing a therapist and also explaining to your wife that you are trying to improve. Heck, why not try couples counseling?

Also, how long did you take the meds? Sometimes it takes awhile to understand and appreciate the affect of those meds.

Best,

Clyde


Log in to answer or register here.