I have been with my boyfriend for 7 years now. I had my first child at the age of 17 and my second at the age of 19. When I was pregnant with my first we moved 7 hours away to a new city with my family. It has been 6 years now and I can honestly say I am not happy here at all. I have met allot of people here, most of them I never click with. I partied allot before I got pregnant and I can honestly say I feel like that stage of my life is over, but most of the people I meet here are the exact opposite. I still have my family here but they work full time, so I don't see them all that often. My boyfriend works allot also, and is constantly out of town on jobs. I am always left here by myself with my kidlets. I feel very very isolated and depressed. I have looked into playgroups, and different programs to get involved with to try and meet more new friends for my children and I, but there is next to nothing available here. I feel like I have honestly given it a pretty good run over the last 6 years of being here, but it is just not happening for me. I have always know what I wanted to do with my life and I have dreams and goals I really want to accomplish. I have been waiting to go to school for what I want to do, until my youngest is in school full time, and that will be about 2 years yet. The school I really want to go to is in the city we originally moved from 6 years ago. The problem is that my boyfriend does not want to move back. This is the onley school in our province that trains for exactly what I want to do. He says he will never move back there again. I think it would be a great opportunity for not only myself but my children. I know for a fact there are several things I could do there to get out and make more friends there. The amount of activities is endless, compared to here. I feel like he is basically asking me to give up everything I have been waiting for and dreaming of, to stay in a place where I have no friends and have no opportunities. I have been sitting at home day in and day out raising our children for the last 6 years. I know it's allot to ask for but I really feel I deserve to be given a chance to persue my dreams, and having a fresh start somewhere else certainly won't hurt either. I feel like he honestly doesn't listen to how I feel and how miserable I am here. It is basically going to be his way, or the highway. I feel like he is putting me in a position of choosing between being with him and being stuck somewhere I'm not happy, or going for what I've always dreamed of, I have no idea what to do???? I finally have a chance after 6 of the hardest years of my life to do this, but he won't support me on it! I love him very much, but I can't stay here forever being miserable like this, and knowing gave up my dreams. Am I being unreasonable? Or am I in the right, asking for this?


Answers


current_issue
1124 days ago
Dear Xoxnicolexox!

I understand your feelings very well as I am in a similar situation. Maybe I am a little older and by now I have four and not two kids. The situation is not going to be better :-(

I can't say that I suffer a lot socially - there are internet communities... maybe you can find things that you like doing together with people from your kids-surroundings? Cooking, reading-club, plants, political-debate what so ever. In my case, I opened a "traveling forum" - we meet together once a week and go to see interesting places - from simple bakery, typography or graveyard to factories, fair department, museums, nature etc. etc.. I think without these vocations I would not have survived.

But the problem of fulfilling dreams and education becomes worse. Sometimes I want to run away or to commit suicide and the only thing that keeps me here is my family and children. Children need a mother, no matter what. Maybe psychologist or professional counseling will help your husband to see your point of view?

leading universities have lectures in different courses on line. In my case, I just watch these lectures at night, and when I look tired at the morning I tell my husband that our youngest child doesn't let me sleep. This explanation seems reasonable. I hate lying, but at least I feel that my brain is not dying and hearing interesting stuff is really enjoying. The good thing is that life expectancy becomes longer and longer. Maybe our dreams will come true one day :-)