Avatar Posted by mockingbird89 353 days ago (Question)
Well, i'm 16 years old, and i have a pretty good life. I have a decent family-life, go to a decent school, live in a decent town, yet for a good portion of my life i've been dealing with lingering feelings of unhappiness. I think you could say i've had my "loss of innocence", in that i've grown up a lot and i now see things not so much from a teenagers perspective, but more realistically. This has, however, left me with a really cynical view of people, which makes me feel very alone. I've sort of established with myself that i have trust issues (from a bad experience when i was younger) and i often can't tell people how i'm feeling or what's bothering me. Particularly over the past couple of years, i've been keeping everything basically to myself. I've been seeing a therapist for a good year now, and though i've told her quite a few things, i feel unable to go back and discuss those things with her because i don't want to look weak, and i feel like she won't care whether i do or don't. I also feel like she doesn't take me too seriously, and i don't know if this is my fault or not. By all accounts, i seem like a fairly happy, warm, understanding person who will listen to you and help you any way she can, but inside i'm hurting, and i can't express fully to people that that's the way i feel, because when i do try to explain it to people, they often just don't believe me. I know i should be able to, but i just don't feel like i can. This has left me feeling very alone and confused, unable to relax and is really diminishing my confidence. I hide it really well, though, i think because of the fact that my life seems to be in order and on track, people just have no means to believe it's anything other than something that will pass, but i've felt this way before my teenage years even started. People think they know me so well, but they don't see how unhappy i've really become. The only person who's ever really noticed this is my friend, who knows probably more about me then anyone else. I know teenagers tend to blow things out of proportion (which i have in the past), but i feel like it's gone beyond that. What's wrong with me, and how can i correct this to make me appreciate my life more?


Answers

Written by Clyde 353 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

You should not worry about feeling weak towards her--that is a big part of why you go to a therapist--you feel weak or bad in feelings and emotions, and the therapist helps you.

You cannot expect your therapist to help you without knowing the problem.

I hope things get better for you.

Best,

Clyde

Written by mockingbird89 353 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I know, it's just i feel like when i do try to explain things, she sort of just tells me to get over it. In some cases that's good, because you can't dwell on every little problem that surfaces, but sometimes there are things i need to talk to her about that are actually important, but i feel like if i elaborate on those things, she'll say the same thing. That's sort of how i've felt about a lot of people because that's just what i've come across in people. I see what you mean, though.

Written by Edahn 352 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Hey man,

I too have issues with my therapist. The solution: bring up everything you said to her, even if it leads to some conflict. Think about it this way: what do you have to lose? Fuck it. Go for it. Honesty always pays off. In fact, if I were you, I would just forward her the post or bring it in and read it word for word. If she does think you're weak, screw it. There's nothing weak about suffering and having a messed child situation. In fact, being honest about it shows a ton of strength, wouldn't you agree?

Being happier is a harder subject, because we don't really know why you're UNhappy. You talked about having a cynical outlook. If I was your therapist, I'd order you to read Woody Allen. He's super-cynical, but manages to use his cynicism to point to the absurdity of life. By doing that, you can actually use your cynicism as a tool to inject some levity into life, rather than have it beat you down.

There's a lot more, I'm sure, but that's a start, hopefully. Try and find some courage to be open with your therapist, and if you can't find that courage, just go for it. It's like pulling off a bandaid. It always hurts -- you just have to be ready to deal with a little hurt, trusting that in the end, things will work out for the better.

Edahn

Written by JOEKNOWS 352 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL. I AM GOING THROUGH THAT. I'M SERIOUSLY THINKING ABOUT CHANGING MY THERAPIST. IT SEEMS SHE HAS NO LIFE CLUES TO WHAT I'M TELLING HER. I SUGGEST YOU DO THE SAME. I'M THINKING MAYBE I NEED A MALE THERAPIST SO THAT MAYBE HE CAN RELATE TO MY FEELINGS AS A MALE, A FATHER AND A HUSBAND WHOS JUST NOT FEELING IT RIGHT NOW. YOU MIGHT DO THE SAME. GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS.

JOE.


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