Avatar Posted by HereandDazed 90 days ago (Question)
I had a period in my life where I was extremely sexually curious, unable to find anyone I was attracted to and therefore I would turn on my webcam and do suggestive things for stranger. I never showed my face except for one time with a guy from Morocco. I'm a completely different person and am ashamed of how I behaved for that short period of time and can't even believe that that was me. Now I have these overwhelmingly compulsive thoughts of what if he recorded me and published it online or on a dvd or something of that effect. I have these thoughts all day and every day. The shame it would bring me and my family is something I can not bear. How can one come to terms with a mistake they made and move forward? I know that your past should never define who you are in the present, but how can one truly move forward? Thank you so much for your answers.


Answers

Written by bellacutie 90 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I think you're already coming to terms by admitting this was a mistake. You can't change the past - right? All we can do is learn from our mistakes. I don't know if you're willing to do this - but you could simply tell those people the truth just like you did here. If you can't do that, it's okay. People have done alot worse on the internet. If you put it out in the open, then you won't have to fear it. I think it's important that you forgive yourself for this and say you're not going to worry about it anymore. Hope you feel better. Bella :)

Written by Edahn 90 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Chances are it wasn't recorded. That's not something average people are 1) interested in doing or 2) sophisticated enough to do well. I'm extremely computer savvy and I can't even think of how I would go about it. Third, you would have a serious image quality issue that would probably make your face unrecognizable. So, statistically, chances that he actually knew how to do it (very small) x chances that he was interested in going that far with it (very small) x the chances that your face would be recognizable (very very small) x chances that he would care to share it with anyone (very small, considering how much other stuff there is out there) x chances anyone you know would ever see it (very small, considering how much porn there is out there) = .00000000000000000000000000000001%. I would seriously think about it whether your worrying makes any sense considering how likely it is that the thing you're fearing will ever happen.

And you know what? Who cares? You were experimental and sassy at one point in your life. What's there to be so ashamed about? I don't personally think it's shameful at all.

Just let it go and move on with your life. You can't totally predict what's going to happen in life anyway, but if something happens, you improvise, do some damage control, find a little humor in it, and move on. If you still think about it from time to time afterwards, don't worry about that. It's not a sign that anything's wrong with you.

Written by Clyde 79 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Yeah, you admitted it is a mistake, and thankfully no one saw your face, except for one guy.

I think there is a very good chance it was not recorded. Just think of that for the next time when you think about doing something promiscuous or bad.

Realize EVERYONE does something bad in their lives that they are not happy about, and you are just one in a group of billions (or millions).

Relax, and learn better for next time.

Best,

Clyde

Written by HereandDazed 74 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Thank you so much for the responses guys. I was wondering if you had any advice on how to deal with the obsessive thoughts I have just thinking about my actions. How do you get over doing something you regret immensely? How can you just move on with your life?

Written by Edahn 74 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

No trick. Just move on and stop thinking about it.


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