Okay
So I have a problem....
I am now four weeks pregnant(at 16) and I have told my parents and my mother completly freaked out and sent me to thearpy and then we had to go to family thearpy. I did not go to the first family thearpy but I did go today and it totaly opened my eyes, becuase I thought thearpy wasent going to help anything becuase it couldnt make me not pregnant. But when I went today and I actually heard what my family had to say and took in what they said I understood how it can help. In a way for me it's also very heartbreaking becuase I know my family is disapointed in me for being pregnant and I understand that, but being in an enviorment like that alows things to come out that usally would not in our everyday life. For instance today my brother called me a slut and a whore and it completly broke my heart....but what I'm wondering is how on earth do I respond to that. Am I supose to say okay I agree with you or something else.
Heres my second question...
How do I get my mother to stop lecturing me about how disapointed she is at me or how she thought she raised me better than this. I understand thats shes angry but doing all that is not helping anyone exspecially not me it makes me feel awful.
Thanks for taking time to read this and respond
CountryMusicGurl
So I have a problem....
I am now four weeks pregnant(at 16) and I have told my parents and my mother completly freaked out and sent me to thearpy and then we had to go to family thearpy. I did not go to the first family thearpy but I did go today and it totaly opened my eyes, becuase I thought thearpy wasent going to help anything becuase it couldnt make me not pregnant. But when I went today and I actually heard what my family had to say and took in what they said I understood how it can help. In a way for me it's also very heartbreaking becuase I know my family is disapointed in me for being pregnant and I understand that, but being in an enviorment like that alows things to come out that usally would not in our everyday life. For instance today my brother called me a slut and a whore and it completly broke my heart....but what I'm wondering is how on earth do I respond to that. Am I supose to say okay I agree with you or something else.
Heres my second question...
How do I get my mother to stop lecturing me about how disapointed she is at me or how she thought she raised me better than this. I understand thats shes angry but doing all that is not helping anyone exspecially not me it makes me feel awful.
Thanks for taking time to read this and respond
CountryMusicGurl
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Answers
Maybe you should spend less energy wondering what you think you're *supposed* to say, and just say what you truly feel. How do *you* feel about the choices you've made, the fact that you're pregnant, the way it affects your family? That's what you should be sharing both at home and in therapy - the truth, tempered with sensitivity to your family's feelings. I believe it will help you make sense of your current situation, and it will help your family understand your choices and your needs.
I agree, that you should say more what you really feel, not want you think you are supposed to say.
Also, sadly, get used to them saying stuff about you like that for a little while. Not that it is right, of course, but they are hurt, also, and it is a defense mechanism.
You might want to let them know that while you understand their feelings about you, they have no right to call you those names. Open dialogue about this stuff will help in time, and will also be good for you all and the baby...everyone must remember the baby who will come soon.
Best,
Clyde
gurl ((hugs)) You made a mistake. Try and let the other people's bad reactions to roll off your back, that they don't know how to respond to you right now is their problem, not yours.
I'm glad you're in therapy and hope you will continue. There's more eye-opening to be seen, imo. Tell your mom that you get it, that she's disappointed in you, and that you're disappointed too. You made a mistake and now you need her help in making the best decisions you can for the future. It isn't the end of the world, but it will make life a bit difficult at times.
TC
drjean