Avatar Posted by bah107 36 days ago (Question)
I cant seem to stop hating my 17 year old daughters ex boyfriend. They dated for 2 years and he seemed like a nice person. They both were interested in music and she brought him into her world. He seemed to do well in the things she
liked to do. It's almost as he didn't need her anymore once
he got to a place of social reconition. I believe in this relationship was at an intimate level. They broke up and
now he acts like she never was alive. Unfortunatly they are in same musical groups and I have to see him a lot. She seems over him and is currently dating someone else. Why
is this bothering me. Why do I hate going to school functions knowing I will see this person. When I see this peron I try to be nice. He does ignore me til I say something however. Why do I hate him so much. It seems silly
to me that I even think about it. I just dread the next 2
years of high school knowing I'm gonna see him and watch him
do well in the same group of people all while acting like
my daughter isnt even breathing the same air as him.
How do I help myself not hate him. How do I enjoy going to these functions again.


Answers

Written by bellacutie 36 days ago Rating: 1 | Rate Answer: + -

Since you say your daughter has moved on and has another boyfriend - I think you should try to do that too. I can understand how you feel though. You probably think it's odd that he doesn't at least have the respect to say "hi."

Instead of trying to be nice and making eye contact with him only to see he's turning away - I think you should do the same - forget he's there. Does it bother your daughter that he doesn't at least say hi?? I know as a mother it hurts when you see your child hurt, but try to separate yourself from these feelings. Best of luck.

Written by bah107 29 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

thanks for your answer. Reviewing all these response

I can see I just need to let this go. I truly aprecieate my feelings on this matter valadated. Maybe

it is just my protective nature. Your answer was insightful and also very kind

Written by Clyde 36 days ago Rating: 1 | Rate Answer: + -

I can understand your feelings about not liking him; however, your daughter has moved on.

Its kind of the same with my Mom and me. My ex-wife, while not high on my list even today, has been forgiven by me, and I have moved on; while, my mother still does not like her for hurting her "baby."

So, I can understand your thoughts, for sure.

I wouldnt try to even think of him or impress him, just ignore him unless he talks to you and let it go, as your daughter has.

What is done cannot be undone as far as this is concerned.

Best,

Clyde

Written by bah107 29 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

thank you for your insight. I know my issue is a little

silly however I do appreciate your response. You really

have put this in perspective for me.

Written by AppleJuiceGirl 35 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

You have to remember that these are high school kids. Sometimes they're not very mature about breakups, and think they can no longer be friends or that it's too painful. Being in school together can also make it really awkward and this boy may just be dealing with the awkwardness by ignoring your daughter and you. He also may not know how to approach you anymore -- you are no longer his girlfriend's parent but his EX-girlfriend's parent. There may also be more to the break up than you know. Perhaps your daughter specifically told him to "never talk to her again." Or maybe he was the one who was hurt and deals with his pain by ignoring her. And it seems that when high schoolers break up, they automatically assume the family of the other dislikes them and no longer feel welcome or secure in approaching the parents.

You also probably feel that he thinks he's too good for your daughter and that's why you dislike him. I think you should be fair and realize that kids will be kids and your daughter has moved on regardless of the circumstances.


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