I am married and I always think that my husband may betray me one day, 5 years later or 20. I wanna get rid of this idea. I am afraid of staying alone with a child. Now I have no child but I always have the feeling of being left one day. I love him so much. How can I get rid of these nonsense thoughts?
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Answers
bulut, thoughts like these tend to control your whole life don't they? (((hugs))) Have you tried seeing a therapist to help you figure out the causes for your distress?
Has your husband ever given you cause to think he might be unfaithful? Where do you suppose you came up with this vein of thinking? Also, the same ideas behind being alone with a child...can you find what is behind that thinking, have you ever had an issue with a child that you feel you didn't handle correctly?
One way to work on thoughts you don't want is "thought stopping." As soon as you realize you are thinking that way, tell yourself "STOP!" If you have to vocalize it, do so. Those are the first and second steps. 1) Realize/recognize when you are having a negative thought and 2) tell yourself Stop.
Next, you can reason out why you need to not think that (that's in the past, there's no rationale for that thought, etc) Then, try and replace it with the appropriate thinking: My husband's a great guy, and if he makes a mistake, I can forgive him, like he would me. I have no proof that by being alone with a child would go badly, I probably would be a great babysitter. (or such like that.)
Finally, move on to good thinking about what you are doing right then: Right now I'm reading this great book, and I want to get back to it. I'm driving right now, and want to pay attention to driving.
Good wishes
drjean
I believe that this wonderful article can be a great start to overcoming jealousy:
http://www.practicalhappiness.com/how-to-overcome-jealousy
Hi there...a lot of the time, our worries come out in our thoughts and in our deeds. Its so much easier to see sometimes than we realize.
Try to stop the thoughts running in your head firstly. Find a way to stop them, such as putting a rubber band on your hand and flipping it when you think thoughts such as that, or another way to change your thoughts.
Also, try to think the good thoughts about your relationship with him...what does he do that makes you feel loved by him?
Best,
Clyde