ok, so here's the thing: my family is pretty messed up. my parents got divorced when I was little, I live with my mom and brother and we live around the corner from my mom's mom, my grandma. I am a 14 year old girl, and I am normal, I think, except that I just pretty recently figured out that my mom emotionally abuses me, or I'm pretty sure anyway. She has weird standards, such as my room needs to be completely spotless just to do something small like go to the library to study with friends for like an hour. She always wants me to be with an adult, and it is suffocating me how overprotective she is. I just want to be a teenager! So you may be thinking, oh she just loves you but I am confused. If she loves me, why would she tell me she hates me at least once a week? she has a terrible temper, and is very stubborn, and thinks everyone is just trying to stress her out when the truth is, it affects all of us too! Why does my mom hate me? i am a lot like my dad, which I believe could be the reason. I thought i could just wait out the four more years i have with her but i realize that, i dont want to completely miss my childhood like that. all these years of yelling, screaming, drama, violence, and shame has replaced all the years of happiness and exploration that i shouldve had. My mom calls me names everyday, and up until not that long ago, shes pushed me around and shoved me, slapped me across the face and on my torso and legs, hard enough to leave little bruises where her fingers were. now, she just threatens to choke me and lock me up in a psyche hospital, and likes to threaten to "knock my block off"
I would just like some help.I feel so worthless, and i never get to see people out of school so i am always isolated in my basement bedroom because my mom never talks to me like, one on one. its always screaming at me because i always mess things up. My dad can't help me, my grandma doesn't want to get involved, and my little brother is mommy's little angel robot. How can i get through this, but if it can be helped, not stir up everything?
I'm sorry for the length of this, i really needed to tell someone, but i dislike shrinks because they don't make me feel any better about myself and never help my mom be nicer because when they try to tell her that she is the one who is wrong, she gets angry and switches, telling me that they don't see everything that's wrong with me and don't know what they are talking about. also, yes i have friends, but none that are understanding, or crazy, enough to wait until i can hang out with them. they get angry at my mom for being such a you know what and eventually after a long time, drift away to be a normal teen and not be tied down by me and my screwed up situation.
Does anyone have any advice at all? i am actually afraid, ill admit it, to call a hotline because i dont want to start crying on the phone and waste their time with my sob stories..and besides, my mom won't even let me talk on the phone, lol, so it is pretty ironic in a sick way. thank you for everything anyone has to say! and i really mean that.
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