Avatar Posted by Destarknight 96 days ago (Question)
I am 22 and can't love anyone. When I was young I didn't have any emotional responses. My greatgrandmother died and when someone told me she was in a better place, I wanted to slap them for lying, becasue God hasn't come back yet. I felt nothing. My grandmother died when I was 11 or 12. My brother grew to hate me cause I didn't care. After that I started trying to feel something, and with my over active imagination, I was able to push some emotions into reality, but not all. Every girl I ever tried to date was more like someone that held my interest, but after I lose that interest, I feel nothing. I want to have someone to spend my life with. I want a family, but I can't find anyone to be with. They see me as a brother. I take care of everyone out of natural instinct, so its not like I'm heartless. The question I have is, What do I do since I can't have what I want. Do I settle into the fact that I can't love, or keep trying?


Answers


bella
96 days ago
Hi - would you feel sad if you lost an immediate family member? What emotions do you feel? Anyone else in your family like this? Any bad childhood experience? You say you want to have a life and family, so you must feel lonely. What emotions are you feeling when you desire a relationship? Sorry for all the questions but I'm trying to understand you better.

Relationships can be formed on compatibility, rather than just love. When the fireworks fade, its having common interests and values that matters. There are some disorders where the person has trouble with those feelings but they usually don't want a relationship. Since this is troubling you - I think you should be evaluated by a psychologist. I give you a link to look at, but it doesn't mean you are this. We're also not doctors and can't diagnose of course, but have good instincts/wisdom.

http://psychcentral.com/disorders/sx30.htm
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Destarknight
96 days ago
No to the death in the amily. I veiw death as natural and don't mourn it. I can't feel bad about death because I beleive to mourn is to mourn your lose rather than for the dead. No one else is like this. My dad left for around a year after divorcing my mother. Because I was like my father, she took out her anger on me, but my lack of emotions was already there. I feel joy, anger, lonely, sadness, and most things of simular sensations. I can feel accomplished, but very few good emotions stick. I took several of those tests and they say I could have, ADHD, Depression, Anxoity, and Bipolar.
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bella
96 days ago
Don't put too much weight in tests. For example someone could be having a rotten day and score high for depression. Do you have contact with your father - interesting you're similar to him. I can understand your concept of death, but if it happened to my child, I would be deeply sad. Try this test:

http://psychcentral.com/personality-test/start.php
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Destarknight
96 days ago
Yea I get along with both parents, but I'd be alot worse off if it weren't for my dad. Mom pushed me to be the best thing for everyone else, while dad supported my interest in writing. As it is I write and work out alot of my problems in my books. As far as kids dying, I do wish I could help them, but without certain events happening, I'm in no position.
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Callmefame
96 days ago
Do not settle for the fact that you can't love. You keep trying and never give up. Love is out there and you will find it. It might not come when you want it to, but it'll come when you aren't expecting it to. I use to be like you, as far as lacking emotions in a relationship and some friendship. Almost all my boyfriends told me that I don't show my emotions. I never tell them how I feel. I would often get tired of them,which wouldn't help my emotion problem any. Me not feeling and showing any type of emotion in my past relationships led me to think that I would never get married, have kids or ever experience love. I gave up. N settled for the fact that I can't love. Until I met this guy last year. He told me the same thing as the rest but he never gave up on me. He basically drug out my emotions. We are still together n going strong. You to will find someone that will drag out all your emotion n probadly some you never knew of. I hope this helps you. And if not, then you should not give up.
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