I'm under an enormous amount of pressure from others to give up smoking weed. I have to pass a urine test for some of my classes at college. In the meantime, I need to be creative for others. Whenever I go a few days without smoking, I get depressed and develop terrible writers block. Then BANG when I start smoking again my creative juices start flowing and I end up turning in an A+ paper.
I always feel a million times better when I smoke, and even when I come down from the high. I'm pulling a 3.65 GPA as a stoner. I was able to land a good job after getting high before the interview. I can clean without it feeling like a chore. I can converse with my friends (most are non-smokers) on an intelligent level instead of just babeling like when I'm sober. I'm able to focus, and I feel more motivated to accomplish the things that need done in my life. I appreciate my friends and living more when I smoke. I never feel sad or suicidal like when I'm sober. (Don't fret, I'm too scared to actually kill myself, but I do think about it a lot). I'm able to open up, relax, and speak clearer when weed's involved. I know I'll end up taking the old water/goldenseal/cleanout combo before I get tested (it always works), but is there any immediate way to feel good and focused without weed for me?
With shrinks you got a 50/50 shot of feeling better down the line, but that doesn't do me a damn bit of good now. I'm not into the whole "loving family" thing. That is, they don't make me feel all "warm and fuzzy" inside. I deplore exercise...unless I'm stoned. I'm not a church person, and I don't drink booze.


Answers


Chemar
2525 days ago
if you live in a state that has legal medical MJ then speak to your doctor about a prescription and covering letter to explain why you use it for medical reasons

if not then you have to be the one to decide the pros and cons of continuing to use it. Other people may be pressuring you, but they are not the ones who have to make the decision as they are not inside your head or body. Only you can decide whether it is better to continue or to stop. I do know of people who do derive medical/psychological benefit from it so am not in any way trying to negate the way you say it helps you to function. But if your state does not have it as a legal option, then you will always be walking a fine line. Also, if others are pressuring you, could it be that they are seeing a negative effect that perhaps you do not recognize? or may be in denial about?



ganymedeboy
2525 days ago
I think others are pressuring me because of the negative social stigma attatched to marijuana. The news says it's bad. So it must be bad for everyone. I find it ironic that the people who want me to quit, are the same one benefitting from it's results. My professors preach all of this BS about how smoking ruins lives, but they say I'm the brightest, most well-adjusted student they have.



bella
2525 days ago
I'm not sure what to say, since we talked about this before. You talk about how marijuana makes you a better person. Why do you think others are pressuring you to quit, if it enhances you so much - what's their take on this?? Many times when a person's addicted to a substance, they convince themselves they're okay, to justify the addiction.

I understand you feel more creative and more pleasant smoking. I don't know how you can get the same feeling without it. I think it comes down to accepting how you feel without it and compensating/managing the bad behavior that MJ covers up. Since you don't have money I suppose you can't speak with a therapist. I'm sure you know there's medical uses for marijuana, but there needs to be a validated doctors diagnosis and I don't know if you would be a candidate - you could ask your doctor. How can you afford the smoking habit?

To be honest, you seem a little stubborn and closed off to ideas so I don't know what else we can suggest. I think you should look at your life and think, is this marijuana addiction really working for you.



ganymedeboy
2525 days ago
The reason I seem so closed off is because I've tried nearly everything to quit. I've talked to people, I've tried tapering off, and I've even tried cold-turkey. It seems whenever I try to quit, I'm woeful for the experience. I've lost jobs, friends, and money for trying. I'm not against seeing a shrink. I just know that there is an incredibly long time in between that first session and the possibility of kicking the habit in the future. Marijuana is an instant fix, and always motivates me to do what needs to be done. Talking...not so much.

I can validate the expense of marijuana because I know it makes things better for me, my life, and the people around me. I also know that seeing a shrink does not always meet the same end.



bella
2525 days ago
If you think the pros out weigh the cons, then speak to your doctor to see if you can get a recommendation for legal use, if your states allows it. I suppose it would be cheaper than buying pills. I wonder if a person becomes used to the amount they're smoking and then craves more, like with other drugs?? If it does, would this cause you to move on to other illegal substances - I don't know too much about it TBH.



ganymedeboy
2525 days ago
I have no interest in moving on to anything else. I never have. In fact I only drink at big social events, and even then I never drink to get drunk. I know how people end up when they get addicted to booze, or pills, or crack or herione, and I don't want to end up like that. I know people from all walks of life that smoke though.



Edahn
2525 days ago
What up.

First off, why are you quitting? You're not going to quit if you don't see the benefit and have the necessary motivation to try and kick the habit. From what you said, it sounds like you're pretty functional, so why are you giving it up? Just peer pressure? That's not a good reason.

I gave up smoking weed towards the end of college because of the way it made me feel in the long-run when I was sober: unfocused, unable to make a decision, disconnected, anxious, and moody. I also didn't want to be dependent on drugs and I began to see drugs (weed mostly) as a tool for avoidance. I have a terrible time hiding the truth from myself and I wanted to learn how to work with those feelings (social anxiety, confusion) on my own, without having to resort to anything else. I gave it up a few times and "relapsed" and then decided to just give it up completely in a semi-dramatic moment of frustration and desperation.

I will tell you what I told you before: the depression and confusion and misery will fade for the most part after a week or so. During that time, you can just work with the feelings you have as best you can. If you need to be alone or cry, do it. Like I said, it'll pass regardless of what you do.

In the long run, I am glad I don't smoke pot anymore. I think it disables people more than it enables them. Really, it's your choice. Carl Sagan smoked pot his whole career and was a successful astronomer and physicist. Maybe it works for some people, but it didn't work for me. I don't have the creativity and insight I do when I'm high in my normal life (usually) but it's okay. I get it in smaller spurts. The main reason I meditate is to get some of the peace, joy, and insight I had when I was high without all the turbulent side-effects. That process takes time though. If you're impatient and unable to tolerate the steep drop from stoner to sobriety, you're never really going to get started.

I have an idea for you. Why don't you give it up for 10 weeks and then decide if you want to return to it or not? You're going to have to suffer through some emotional lows and battle with your concentration, but either 1) you collect yourself (you will) or 2) you don't and go back to smoking after 10 weeks. Even in the worst case scenario (2), you don't lose anything except comfort which is not a huge price to pay. During those weeks, the best way to deal with the decline in satisfaction is to start investigating it and try and determine what your life needs to improve. I turned to Eastern psychology because it makes a fuck-ton of sense to me. Maybe you will too, I don't know.

___

My site: www.AskEdahn.com



ganymedeboy
2525 days ago
I don't know if that will work. I've been sober for several days now, and already my schoolwork is starting to suffer. I need to write a cause and effect paper, and every time I start, I end up getting a few paragraphs in and then decide to chuck it all because I start hating the thesis. This never happened when I smoked. I could write for days and days, and never get blocked. What is worse is that my sentences are not making sense when I write them. I'm using the wrong words to describe things and I'm getting totally frazzled. I just miss being able to think and be happy.



JunieBeatrice
2525 days ago
Hello there. I really do not want to commit on what you should do about smoking weed because I have no experience with it and I think you got some good responses. But I did want to commit about your views of therapy. Yeah sometimes, it is a long time between the first visit and that final positive change. But it is not all about the end result. There is a lot of value of learning about yourself in the meantime, and about what smoking does for you and what it does not do for you. There may be some other factors that you have overlooked that a qualified professional can help you clarify. If you do choose to pursue therapy at some point, it is okay to be abivalent about it. Sometimes it does suck because it brings up stuff that is hard, and sometimes it seems long and you might seem stuck. But then there are a lot of times where there is an "oh I get it!" moment. And there is a light on and you just see what you need to see. So if you ever want to try therapy for this or for anything else, don't let the length of time it may take discourage you. It has been in my case, lifesaving, and one heck of a journey. Just my thoughts. All my best. Junie



ganymedeboy
2525 days ago
I appreciate your input, but I doubt your average therapist would have any idea of where I'm coming from. Since I was very young, I realized that straight people have no idea what it's like being gay. They think we're all the same, and that we all go through similar issues, and that being gay/straight doesn't matter. What a load of crap! Most, if not all, legit therapists are straight, and a good number are rather old. So, I have a hard time believing they can do someone like me any good. I think they just cander back the outcome of some study with all straight paticipants like it will have some effect on me. At least that's how all of the therapists I've gone to see behave.



Edahn
2525 days ago
Listen, we all go through that. It's natural, and it fades. You think writers and copyrighters are able to just flow without going through a period of frustration? Absolutely not. But you work on it and learn to understand how to improve your experience so you flow with greater ease.

Your writing and thinking are going to suffer a bit, as will your grades. You probably haven't dealt with frustration in a long time so you're going to have to decide how to deal with it without shutting down and resorting to pot. It's not going to be easy, but it also won't be as hard as it is right now. Like I said, you need about a week.

If your grades suffer a bit, is that really so bad? 10 weeks is at most 1 semester or quarter. You're probably taking 4-5 classes, in which you'll still be working and studying and probably pull off the same grade +/- 1 point. In the long run, it will probably not significantly affect your GPA.

As an aside, what's your paper on exactly? Sounds interesting. Are you a philosophy major? What school? (Hope that's not too personal.)



ganymedeboy
2525 days ago
I'm sorry, but I'm just not willing to let my grades slide. I work hard, stoned and sober, and I deserve a positive outcome for my efforts. I'm afriad of losing my job and more of my friends by the change in my attitude that results from not smoking. As you can probably tell, I'm turning into an angry, bitter, jaded, jerk as I type. I don't want to be that.

I have to write a cause and effect paper on something to do with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. I think it's idiotic. Everytime I look at the assignment sheet I think about punching my teacher in the face. I never used to have violent thoughts. The thing that really sucks is everything I come up with stinks. It's either too broad, too boring, too depressing, or already discussed to death.

I've been capping my rage for the past few days, and I'm afraid I'm going to end up doing something stupid that will jeopardize everything I've worked so hard for. I keep thinking how much easier this all would be if I could just smoke.

I'm majoring in electroneurodiagnostics.



bella
2525 days ago
I just wanted to say thank you to my great answer buddies - great sharing/writing :)

I also wanted to post this link because I was interested to know the long term affects and what happens during withdrawal. Personally I'm a very cleaning living person - no drugs or alcohol - I don't like becoming something I'm not...altered state. Sure I might not be happy all the time but at least it's real. Please do read this link.

http://www.drugabuse.gov/infofacts/marijuana.html



ganymedeboy
2525 days ago
Thank you for the link, but the only thing I read that seemed familiar to me was the part about irritablity, and sleeplessnes that comes from trying to quit.

I've never been a fan of total reality. It's rather depressing. I think I'm the sort of person that needs an escape every now and then. I'm too scatterbrained right now to meditate, and I'm too poor to take a vacation. I also don't fall in line with the "Happy Family Friendly" coping mechanisms that try to keep sober moms from slitting their wrists, and husbands from cheating. I can't even go the loser route and drink because I hate the taste of alcohol. I just wish there was something I could do right now to dispel my rage and help me focus.



Edahn
2525 days ago
Your change in attitude won't be permanent, and even during the rough times, like right now, you can still control what you say and how to react. Having depression-like feelings doesn't mean you will automatically be moody. If you just take it slow and try and manage your frustration, you can actually convert it into intimacy and peace.

Yes, your grades are important, and I think you should try hard, even harder if you need to. But your health is important too. If this is something you want to do, then you're going to have to work extra-hard.

"I have to write a cause and effect paper on something to do with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. I think it's idiotic. Everytime I look at the assignment sheet I think about punching my teacher in the face. I never used to have violent thoughts. The thing that really sucks is everything I come up with stinks. It's either too broad, too boring, too depressing, or already discussed to death."

Do you have any idea how often I felt that way in college, and even in grad school? Sometimes you just do it, sometimes you try and make it interesting. You just man up and deal with it. Hopefully you write come up with something that works. You are going to struggle, everyone does. Hopefully not too long or too much.

"I've been capping my rage for the past few days, and I'm afraid I'm going to end up doing something stupid that will jeopardize everything I've worked so hard for. I keep thinking how much easier this all would be if I could just smoke."

Okay. I'm going to be frank. You've got to deal with your mood better. You're indulging in it and making an excuse for yourself to give up. If you're going to smoke, smoke. But don't sabotage yourself by making your life harder than it is so you complain that you can't do it and give up. That's dishonest and you're going to confuse yourself, in addition to piss me off, lol. If you want to give this a shot, you're going to have to compromise and apply your mind and wisdom to help yourself transition into sobriety. You can't just complain about how hard it is and how confusing it is. YES, it's hard, YES, it's confusing, but you have a good mind and you can figure it out. You're not a vapid crackhead, you're an intelligent college student. If I didn't think you could do it, I wouldn't waste my time replying, but I think you can if you want to. You don't even need me to answer these questions because you already know the answers; you just have to be willing to put in the effort and learn how to live without it. Like I said, just do a 10-week trial. It's a minimal commitment.

P.S. I should add that my papers dramatically improved when I quit smoking and I graduated with a 3.74 plus various honors from a top tier university.



Chemar
2524 days ago
ganymedeboy

an observation....

take a look at your replies.

almost all of them start with a sentence in which you have a "but" negating what the person answering has advised

that is how you seem to have approached all the previous questions you have posted here as well. By negating, even to the point of emphatically excluding any potential answers from people who you have already labeled in your mind as being "types" you do not want to hear from, without even giving a chance for them to say anything....ie you pre-judge!

so I guess I have to ask.....

do you really want opinions and advice or are you just looking for others to validate what you have already decided.

I am not suggesting that one has to simply take advice without questioning it. Not at all!

but...............

well, I hope you can see what I am getting at!



ganymedeboy
2524 days ago
I see what you're saying, and no I'm not looking for validation so much as a quick fix so I won't have to smoke again. I'm going through a lot of anger issues that I have to directly deal with because I'm not smoking, and it gets me mad when people tell me things like "You need to figure it out for yourself". Quitting is something I've been trying to accomplish for years. I think about it all the time. I know from experience how bad things can get, and it scares the Hell out of me. I've lost jobs and friends because of the attitude change that comes from quitting, and I don't want all that to happen again.

I haven't always pre-judged, and people used to take advantage of me for that. Eventually I caught on to the whole cycle and decided to be cautious, and rather astutely so. I don't really enjoy being right about people, but I can't shut off the part of my brain that says things like, "You know he/she is...". I usually try my damnest not to come off like I'm pre-judging. I'll even flip the switch sometimes and respond oppisitely to how I feel I should, just to give someone a chance to be something different. However, in the end, I'm usually never wrong, and when I am, I embrace that person.

I can't go to my friends with my anger, nor my family. I have nowhere to focus it, and I don't want to end up doing anything stupid. I keep glib answers to big questions for me, and that just makes me angrier. This may come off immature, but I don't think a lot of people know where I'm coming from. Yeah, I have weed problems, like a lot of people, but I'm also gay, and have intimacy issues. I have self-image issues. I have trust issues. I have vainity issues. I have self-hatred issues. I have anti-traditionalist issues, and multitude of others. I've been to shrinks, and they always seem to take this "we're all going through something bad" take on my problems, and try to marginalize me into some nice neat (usually straight) assessment, that never really applies to me.

"but you judge others..." Yeah, that kind of makes me a hypocrite. The difference is that I'm not getting paid to solve a problem, and I don't present myself as some kind of authority, when I have no real idea of what's going on. I can live with being a hypocrite, when I know I'm right.



bella
2524 days ago
"Since I was very young, I realized that straight people have no idea what it's like being gay."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Although I may not know what it's like to walk in a gay person's shoes, I do have great empathy. My brother was gay and his sexual orientation was irrelevant to me. He passed away from AIDS. I don't think it's fair of you to paint all straight people with a broad brush.

I get that you're angry and hate some people. I realize some straight people are prejudiced against gay people but I also think there's a reverse prejudice as well. BTW I don't live in "Mambi Pambi Land' - my life's not easy and many of us here, have gone through a lot and learned a great deal.



ganymedeboy
2524 days ago
Sorry, I didn't mean to come off like that. What I meant was that there are things straight people go through that gay people don't understand, and there are things that gay people go through that straight people don't understand. What angers me is when a straight person thinks my mentality is or should be the same as his/hers. I get that a lot. They say things like, "Pride parades are stupid because of all of the innuendo and levity involved. If you really want equal rights you should learn to behave yourself". I get stuff similar to that thrown at me quite a bit.

We all go through crappy times, but that doesn't mean that the approach one uses to see it through will necessarily work for someone else. Sometimes it has to do with sexual orientation and sometimes it doesn't. With the shrinks I've seen, I always get put into that "we're all the same" and "just another boy going through a phase" mentality and things never work out.



JunieBeatrice
2524 days ago
I am not sure there is a quick fix. It seems like it is going to take some work and some discomfort...but I think the discomfort is what you are trying to avoid. Listen anytime you try to give up something that you are accustomed to and something that you personally view as a help to you (but if you are trying to give it up I think you know that there are some negatives to it) there is going to be some discomfort.

I have a question for you. It seems like a little self-defeating if you constantly dismiss therapists and others who are trying to help you. So what are you getting out of that behaviour? Is it so that you really do not have to change? I wonder if when you went to therapists if you chose one who is gay. It seems to me that the best theraputic relationships are those who have a good rapport. So if you are going to a therapist with traditional views on things it is going to immediately set up a road block. So if that is the case, you are setting yourself up to fail at that relationship perhaps so you can not deal with the issues you present. I say that out of respect for you, out of care for you. If you really want to change, you may have to look at some things like that.

I see a therapist. Albeit for issues somewhat different than yours. She will tell me at times that she does not understand the depth of some things that I experienced or go through now. But she cares about me. And she can understand most of where I am or have been. I think that is the best we can have from another person. You said before you don't think the average therapist would understand where you are coming from. Then that is the wrong therapist for you. But I refuse to believe that there is not a mental health professional out there who can help you...but only if you let them. And its okay to avoid and it's okay to resist and its okay to have transference issues and all that, as long as generally you are moving in the right direction, but it is helpful to know when you are avoiding or not, or resisting or not. A good therapist can help you with that too.

Hey, I care about you. I may not be able to understand everything you go through, certainly, but I can still care. I wonder though, are you caring about yourself? We can care about you here until you can care more about yourself. But I do hope at some point you come to realize just how worth it you are as a person.

All my best. Junie



ganymedeboy
2524 days ago
I wish I could find a gay therapist, but there just aren't any to be had in Cincinnati. Believe me, I've looked. I appreciate that so many are concerned, even if I come of snarky at times.

In all honesty, I don't want to change. I simply have to. My school tests. All well-paying jobs test. I can rely on goldenseal and water, but who's to say that will keep working? If I get busted, even once, I'm done. All of my efforts will have been for nothing. I wish we lived in a world that wasn't so marijuanaphobic, but that's the hand I've been dealt.



Edahn
2524 days ago
HA! I love your attitude. I'm not being sarcastic.

I think anything we say is going to be met with hostility, which is actually okay. If you need to be angry and frustrated, then be angry and frustrated. It'll pass on its own.

If you're sincerely looking for a solution, then the solution is to be remember who you really are underneath all the anger and resentment. Judgmental thoughts? Who cares. Thoughts are just thoughts. Do you know how many judgmental thoughts I have throughout the day? It's a non-stop stream. But I know that deep down, I'm a good person and that my mind is just doing its thing, making noise and trying to get attention. So I ignore it and eventually it stops pestering me. The same goes for anger. Remember who you are underneath. Think about who you were as a kid, open and full of joy. That's the real you. You can't just make thoughts go away, but you don't have to. You just have to remember how to ignore them or work with them, and I just told you how. It requires effort though. There's no way around that.



ganymedeboy
2524 days ago
Thank you. I think the worst is over. I think my problem is that I'm not sure I like who I am underneath it all. When I was young, I was a lonely prudish nerd. It wasn't until I started smoking, partying, and raising Hell that I felt any self-respect. Now I look back with hatred at the person I was as a child. I wish I could have done things differently. My whole childhood was kind of a washout, and I'm really afraid of reverting back to who I was.



Edahn
2524 days ago
Lonely prudish nerds are actually amazing people. They're honest and very innocent, and very sweet. I would consider all my real good friends to be absolute weirdos who happen to be very kind souls. You may not be as nerdy as you were, but the pure core is still shining through. It's shining through right now. :)

Congratulations.



fosho91
2518 days ago
I registered just to comment - First like you said you don't want to quit and all of the symptoms you refer to are called... WITHDRAWAL! Most of my friends and current girlfriend get high but I do not. I have before but it was never my thing. I pride myself on my logical thought process and it seemed that when I was high I just didn't think the same while others say it helps them think better. My personal observations from friends and what you have said are that the person who is high generally feels they perform better at various things when they are high but as their friend I can always tell when they are high and they seem to perform much worse to me. I enjoy having debate like conversations with friends and while most of them like to get high first to present a better argument they really just stand firm on unsubstantiated thoughts and introduce weird points that they feel are brilliant. It's to the point that I might be ending my relationship with my girlfriend becasue she has reached the point where she has to be high to deal with life whether its good or bad. She needs to smoke to wake up and get going, she needs to smoke to relax, she needs to smoke when she's upset, she needs to smoke to have a good time, she likes to smoke becasue she feels the sex is better; but none of it is better for me.

I'm not a prude and I do drink but only on weekends because I felt I was headed down the path to alcoholism during college. So my point is I realized I had to manage my drinking so that it did not negatively impact my life. I made this choice in my mid 20's and it has worked for me. My girfriend quit smoking, for me, when we first starting dating and while she had some withdrawal effects her overall personality and outlooked improved after she overcame the initial withdrawal. Well a vacation back to her hometown and being around old friends brought on a relapse and she was upset with me because she felt she had made a change she did not want to make. I understood her feelings and know that no one can change or be happy about a change unless it's a decision they make for themselves so I have tried to be patient but I'm watching her spiral downward. It seems as though she cannot deal with the reality and the normal stress of life that everyone deals with; work related stress, financial stress, etc...

Okay I guess I have ranted long enough becasue your issue is close to me due to my girlfriend. But my key points are:

1). no matter what you do, if you have to do it to function normally you probabaly need to analyze the activity to dertermine if it can be detrimental to you in the long run (health, work, relationships, etc...).

2). While many people defend its use; its still ilegal and testing technologies are improving and can detect substances that dilute or mask HTC.

3). Growing up means letting go of activities and behaviors that were acceptable at earlier stages in life. How would you feel if you had a child or loved one that was telling you about their dependancy on a recreational drug.

4). I would suggest exploring dependancy or compulsion issues as the root of your issue.

BTW - I know this was long but I would love to hear feedback from anyone regarding the issues I am going through with my girlfriend