Avatar Posted by ShannonDorothea 205 days ago (Question)
It all started a few years ago when I was still in high school, I met one of the best friends I ever had - up until today. The year before I met her, my mother passed away and she was the only real friend to be there for me whenever I needed her, we also went on very nice vacation trips and she helped me a lot to get over my loss. I've never had any "real" friends until I met her, she trusted me and really liked me also, everything was fine, until that one day, where I overheard her being friendly with people we did not really like - or so I thought, she told me that she couldn't stand them, since they badmouthed me. But yet there she was talking to them in a very friendly manner. I never told her that I overheard the talk she had with them, and watched as she began building up a friendship with them until I couldn't take it anymore and just ended our friendship because I felt betrayed. I made the biggest mistake in not telling her why I ended our friendship, and it couldn't come to a worse time, it was a time when she needed me most, because she had big family problems at that time. 3 years later I ran into her coincidentally on the airport, we were on the same flight and there was no seat assignment, so I took place next to her, and started talking (to be honest I felt bad all the time, but noticed too late, I was still young and naive back then - which I very much regret today). I was so happy to talk to her again, but of course now there was that feeling of distance between us. Ever since that day we talk on and on on IM, we met a few times, and we talked about the past she said she would forgive me, but I can't forgive me for what I have done to her. Today I am a totally different person - if something disturbs me in a relationship I always come right out with what is on my mind. Back then I was the total opposite. If only I would have talked to her about the thing back then, things wouldn't have turned out the way they have now.. I will be moving away to another country soon, and would like to meet her one last time, and talk to her, because everytime I think about her I feel grief and sadness, I can't get over her even though I made new friends and have a very supportive partner. I just don't know what to do anymore.
I hope someone can give me a good advice :(


Answers

Written by bellacutie 205 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Hi,

I agree that it wasn't a good reason to end the friendship, but you are older and more mature now. I'm a little confused about your statement that you think things would have been different if you hadn't done that. Were you hoping that you would have ended up in a romantic relationship with her?

I think that you need closure and would recommend that you see her and say everything you need to say. If you can't do it in person, then write her a letter. Even if you move away you both can still e-mail each other. Sometimes it's easy to get stuck in the past. I hope you find closure :)

Written by lea11 203 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I have been in a similar broken friendship. My only best friend brutally stabbed me in the back by sleeping with the guy that I had been seeing for about 2 months.

But here's the real secret, after all the bs passed... I miss her! I miss our friendship more than anything in the world. I don't care what happened. It wasn't as important as she was and is to me! We have since sort of rekindled our friendship and talk now and then.

But If I can tell you anything, even though you made a mistake, a true friend is hard to find. Try to restart your friendship with her! She may have a little wall up due to being hurt, but if she sees you trying, i'm sure you guys can start over. And you will both be happier!

best of luck.

Written by ShannonDorothea 203 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Hi :)

Well I am not so sure about that but I don't think I wanted us to end up in a romantic relationship.

I will try my best to restart the friendship and hope that it will work out somehow.

Thank you everybody for all your good advice it really helped me a lot!

Written by Clyde 202 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I hope it works out for you. Its amazing how things we do can have a long lasting effect on us later on. We need to realize that what we say and do can cause harm later on.

Best,

Clyde


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