HI! My name is john,17 years-old, and lately i`ve been contemplating on who I`m truly Am. I used to be a fun,good friend,dependent,sociable person who liked helping others. I`ve always took care of myself and was on top of every major priority I had, I was also a good adviser, someone who cared about other people`s problems and look for a solution that will benefit them and make them feel better, I even saved my best friend from committing suicide which now he is enjoying his life potentially and trying hard to strive for success. I liked keeping everything clean, organized in it`s order which supposed to be, used to be interested in reading books about astronomy,physics, chemistry,etc.. and looked forward on being a psychologist since my best interest at heart was giving advises. The problem started 6 months ago when my friend introduced me to an online chatting networking game where you could meet up with your friends, people from different backgrounds and chat for hours. At first my first expression about this network was blunt, I thought it was foolish but gradually i`ve started going online and use this chatting communication network more and more when suddendly I was obsessed and had an strong ambition towards it. While constantly chatting online with variety of people, I also started being belligerent about my school work(homework,test,exams,projects,etc)and then started not attending school at all for days which then turned into weeks then months. Not only did I stopped going to school and failing all my classes,I also didn`t take consideration for my family when they needed me or my friends, ignoring everything that was happening around me and only concentrating at the game. All of my actions had they`re consequences, I failed the entire school year, my mother went through a lot of problems with the school and child services, my family stopped trusting me, I`m not going to private school anymore, basically I disappointed everyone and the perception on how they look at me as a person is completely negative. Right now I have realized the mistake i`ve done and try to bring myself back up into my feets and continue forward alongside in making everything better but I don`t feel myself anymore. I can`t seem to care how clean is my room or the house, can`t give advises like I usually did, i`m not interested in any subjects plus feel psychologist is not my strong subject anymore, I`m not as sociable nor get involve into conversations or when something is wrong neither do I have great ideas no more, can`t concentrate(pay attention), what worries me the most is that I can`t remember things for a very long time( either when somebody had given an advise, spoken about a certain matter, read a paragraph from a book or article) when before I could`ve, I can`t express myself very well and can`t fight back over certain discussions, meaning when someone says a negative comment towards another person or to me, I don`t know what to say or express upon any righteous defense remarks. It`s as if i`ve totally miraculously change on who I was into a whole different person,I`m trying to go back on being myself again but it`s hard even when people,your own relatives have lost faith on you. My mother transferred me into another High school where i`ll repeat my junior year.It`s a public school which doesn`t give me any positive thoughts about positive outcomes and my family are convince that i`ll stopped going to school again and eventually dropp. If anyone has any helpful tips or advise towards this problematic aspects which i`m dealing with right now on becoming myself again or any significant advise on how to proceed forward, I`ll really appreciated and be happy. thank you
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