Sometimes I think about cutting myself. The sick thing is that I think to myself 'its just a prick'. I even tried to once. I got so frustrated when it wouldn't that I ended up scratching myself and I LIKED it! I like to feel pain now.
I feel like such a dissapointment sometimes. My grades just came and my mother and I were in a huge fight about them. She called me a dissapointment. I feel like one. She is always ragging on me about my weight and how I could improve. i'm not popular and I don't want to be, but i know she was and even though she says that shes okay with me not being popular, I know she wants me to be. Even though she says shes doing this to me.
Sometimes my dad gets so angry at us that he hits us. I always have to be careful around him. But its only when we make him mad. Even so, is that child abuse?
I think I have a thing for my teacher.
Can you help me?


Answers


bella
2204 days ago
Hi blackrose98 - I'm sorry you're struggling. It sounds like you're just at the beginning of self injury and I want to caution you not to do this again. I don't know if you're aware of why some people get hooked on self injury, so let me explain part of it. When a person gets injured, the body releases endorphins and adrenaline which give a temporary buzz and relief. This is actually a survival and protective mechanism from long ago, so if a person got injured they would get this burst of adrenaline & endorphins and be able to run away or fight the predator. People can get in the habit of wanting this feeling and you should stop before this becomes a big problem.

Regarding your dad - where does he hit you and your siblings? Some believe it's acceptable to spank children on the backside and chances are local authorities wouldn't consider this abuse. Personally I don't believe in hitting children at all. I think all it teaches them is fear, aggression and not to trust their parents. I'm sorry your mother said those critical statements. Are you struggling in school?

You mentioned your weight - summer would be a good time to start a nice routine of exercising and learning how to eat healthy. Exercise also helps with stress, concentration and mood elevation. You could also speak with your counselor at school. Another good idea would be to ask your mom to spend some one on one time together and perhaps you could talk things out calmly. I hope it gets better for you.



Chemar
2204 days ago
Hi

so sorry you are struggling. I do hope you will talk to someone you trust about the self injury as you need to be careful about seriously hurting yourself/infections etc.

I guess you don't feel able to talk to your mom about it?

How about a school counselor?

You may have a "thing" for the teacher because they are kind to you?

Just remember it is not something you should ever act on as that could get both of you into trouble, especially the teacher!

When your dad hits you, is it a spanking or does he hit you in the face or beat you? I don't personally agree with even spanking, but that, if done without anger or actual violence, is not considered child abuse. However beating or hitting a child in the face is.

I really hope that you will be able to get to start seeing a therapist who can help you work through all this stuff.

God Bless