Avatar Posted by kiecool 190 days ago (Question)
I always have mood swings based on the moods my friends are having like if one is depressed I then become depressed too, if one is happy and hyper I become happy and hyper too, and when one is happy one is sad on is angry and the other worried the emotions build up and I nearly have to cry because they all mix up and become horribly strong and I can't figure out how to express them other than sitting in a corner and listening to music. I don't know if this is a psychological, or emotional problem or if it is a mental (spiritual) connection between us? Can you please explain??


Answers

Written by bellacutie 190 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Hi,

I wouldn't worry about it too much. I think it's partly because you're young/impressionable and also sensitive to how others feel. It's also common when you're young to feel powerful bonds with your friends (sometimes more than your parents). As you get older and more self confident, then if your friend is depressed - you'll be able to listen and empathize, without actually internalizing the emotion yourself, much like a psychologist would do. They listen to peoples problems all day - imagine if they brought them home.

I would be more concerned if you were numb to everyone feelings. Moods are catchy and that's why motivational speakers are so effective - they get the audience all excited and inspired.

The same happens with negative emotions. For example - imagine a couple who has a fight in the morning. He leaves, gets a coffee and is rude to the cashier (because of the fight with his wife) - she then is in a bad mood and starts being nasty to her co-workers. He goes to work and spreads the misery there. The wife ends up snapping at the children and they go to school and have a bad day and it keeps spreading more. It all started with 2 people and spread out to God knows how many.

So, how do we stop this from happening? The best way is to build a strong inner self, that way you won't be influenced unless you choose to (like if someones in a good mood). You can still share and empathize with your freinds, but they will no longer draw you into their negative emotions. Think about how do people work in funeral homes without feeling depressed everyday, with nothing but death around.

To answer your question, I don't think this is a psycholgical problem. I think you're just a sensitive, caring person who takes things to heart. You might be a little impressionable and should work on your self esteem and this will protect you from negative emotions. Also beware of toxic people who bring you down and draw you in to their negative drama. I'm not talking about the friend who occasionally has a problem - but the ones who consistently drag you down. With the friends who are feeling bad - just try to listen and feel empathy without feeling sad yourself (like a psychologist). If your friends are getting you all worked up, then take a break like you said before and take some slow deep breaths to calm you down. I hope this explanation puts things in perspective for you. TC :)

Written by Clyde 178 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I think a lot of it does have to do with your empathy. You feel close to your friends, so you want to feel like them in order to help them feel better, which is admirable.

I dont think it is a psychological problem either, except if you are not having your own feelings at all.

Best,

Clyde


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