I've decided in recent years I just don't like people. I feel that they are a primitive species. They are dishonest, untrustworthy, fake, mean. Even the so-called good ones are like this. I've come to this conclusion after years of observation of the human race. Because of that, I like to be alone. I don't want to date, or have friends. I don't even really like my family that much. I tolerate my parents because they are my parents. But honestly if they weren't my parents, I probably would not even like them much either.

I can handle people one step removed by watching TV or hearing music. Don't get me wrong, I think some people are very talented. I enjoy the things that some of them create. Just not good people to be around. Everyone thinks I am depressed, but I think it's just a lifestyle choice. My dad thinks I should be more tolerant and forgiving, but... why should I? Why should I lower my standards? It doesn't make me happy. I'm sad that I am so alone, but I will just have to deal with being born into this primitve species until I die. Is this wrong? I told my parents a little about this and I said I cannot change how I feel. I feel what I feel.

And btw don't tell me to just do activities to meet people. I am not going to do activities just to keep myself busy. There's no point. I'm not interested in doing some fake activities as an excuse to meet people that I don't even want to meet. I did that when I was younger and I am over that. I am very good at keeping myself entertained, so I don't need to do that.



Answers


Gigi0626
1110 days ago
I don't what to say other than your post caused me to burst into tears of relief. I've been trying to communicate this feeling to my friends and family for what seems like a lifetime. just last March I begin therapy and medication for what they are telling me ins major depressive disorder & isolation syndrome. Everyone including the thearpist keep pressuring me to join social groups and meet-ups. I even joined a few which made me dislike people even more. People say they understand and they feel the same way but they dont. I can't stop crying after reading your post because for the first time ever someone gets it, you get it, you described exactly how I feel. I can't tell you how overwhelmed I am.



Vess
1110 days ago
I never thought I would come across something that would remind me so much of myself. I always feel like a freak, because I have come to accept the fact that I just don't seem to like people. It's not just mean people, or a certain type. I feel like an outsider to the entire world.

I have four sisters, and a brother. They're my family, and I should feel an overwhelming sense of joy that I have them to turn to. But I feel no connection to them. I've gone great lengths of time without talking to them, and I feel nothing. If I'm alone with them I get so mentally exhausted, because it's like I have to put on this show. To put out the illusion that I'm feeling emotions that just aren't there. I've told my mother and even them that I feel like an only child. That didn't go over great. Can't imagine what they would have done if I told them everything.

I have a boyfriend. We've been together a little over a year and a half now. Taking into consideration everything he does for me, how deeply he loves me, and all that paper back novel nonsense...I should FEEL something deep. Something meaningful and profound for him. But I don't. I have come to realize that I'm not sure I'll ever have the capacity to love him like a normal person loves.

Like I said, it's not just that I don't like mean people. I just feel like everyone I meet, in some way or another, has this flaw that makes them a disappointment to me. Perfectly normal, nice people. It's a lonely life being this way. I want to WANT to have friends. I'm in college for God's sake, opportunity is a constant thing. I just have no desire to go through the motions, because I just know it's highly unlikely I'll ever find that one person who just GETS IT.

Maybe I need to find someone who feels just as empty as I do. It probably sounds insane, but having someone there who feels the way I do would make the perfect friendship. No expectations, not having to fake anything. Honesty. Pure honesty of emotions, or even lack thereof.

Sorry that this was so long. I've just never told anyone how I've felt about this before. Maybe this will help show you that even if how we feel is wrong, you're not the only one that feels it.



Gigi0626
1109 days ago
I have 2 sisters and 3 bothers and a boyfriend who i live 1500 + miles from. People ask how I manage I relationship so far away but my boyfriend is a lot me. For the most part my family and boyfriend have come to accept they way I am. There are times they try to force me out of what they call my shell but they usually get frustrated and give up. Other than 1 of my brothers and my boyfriend they don't come up for visits and they only call if something major has occurred. My boyfriend and brother only visit once or twice a year. I too want to want friends but I too become mentally drianed being around people especially my family. My brother told me my parents are afraid to say something wrong which they think will send me back into isolation so they don't visit and they rarely call and when they do they don't say much. I don't know how to not hurt them. I just get annoyed with general human behavior, it's nothing personal against them. I joined a sorority when I was in college at someone else's urging. During college my sorority sisters tried to pull me out but just decieded I was a homebody & gave up. They call and email on holidays and my birthday but I only respond with a quick short "Thx" to avoid a telephone conversation. I supervise a group of people at work but even they know to keep it work related and leave me alone. I try to fake interest when people talk to me but i'm horrible at masking my emotions and my facial expressions always give me away. I've been told i'm not trying hard enough. I don't get why people don't understand when I do try I spend the entire time finding fault with people and wishing I hadn't bothereed. It's not intentionally and it seems to be getting worse the older I get. My family said as a child I was always alone reading books. If someone came near I would go hide. They thought I was shy or just crazy about my storybooks. I always had one or two friends, or at least I thought I did. I just didn't like to be around noise or a lot of activity back then. somewhere in ny early 20s (36 now) I started feeling just how Violet described, i find people to be, fake, mean, untrustworthy. I too enjoy thier talents but I have no desire to be around people. I spend my time outside of work watching TV and mostly reading books. I spend a lot of time alone and sad becuase I feel I have to be really arrogant to dislike people so much. I want to learn how to be more tolerant. I want know what causes me to be thi way and how to control it. I want a normal life



bella
1109 days ago
Have you always felt like this or is this the result of bad experiences...being hurt by others? You asked - is this wrong? If someone chooses to be alone....no that's not wrong but lumping everyone into a "primitive species" isn't right. Yes there are some superficial, mean and dishonest people but there's also good ones too.



violet
1109 days ago
No, Bella, I am sorry to say, there are no good ones. I wish there were. But humans are humans, they all have their petty weaknesses. I've never really had anything tragic happen to me. Just worn down by the constant day in day out minor treachery and competition and dishonesty and betrayal and fakeness. And this is from your friends. Just normal stuff really. And I don't resent humans for that, they are what they are. I just don't like it. I just think I'm better than that. Maybe that is delusional, or maybe it is true. I don't know. But either way, it's a choice I've come to. And I see I am not the only one to feel that way. Actually it's kind of a liberating realization. Because before I used to get upset by these trivial things that people did. But now I just think to myself dismissively,"humans", kind of like, "what do you expect" and then just forget it.



piankhi
1107 days ago
Not only the original communication, but also the follow-up responses, are profoundly depressing. So human beings are rubbish, are they?

And do you all shit gold bricks, that you think you are so much better than the rest of us? Or do you shit brown, like me, and all the other people I know?

Piankhi



batmankitty
1107 days ago
I do wonder if this aversion to other people might have some genetic and/or environmental basis. I grew up as an only child in a family that communicated verbally very little. My mom and dad were in their own shells all the time; I was no different. One of my sons also has an aversion to people and is very selective about who he hangs out with. I just wonder if we’re wired in a way that we just have a low tolerance to the stimulation that being with other people gives.

Environmentally, I can tell you that both my parents grew up in abusive homes and probably preferred isolation as a means of safety. I know from my own experience, having lived in a similar situation, I prefer to be alone so that other people don’t hurt me. And my son also hit some rough patches while growing up and he consequently expresses disdain for how other people are.

I think a lot of this, at least in my family, the desire for isolation comes from a response from being hurt and not having the skills or ability (and therefore desire) to interact with people like others do.



Thisisit
1107 days ago
So here's a question -

What do Violet, Gigi0626, and Vess think of each other?

Do each of you feel the others are worthless, given that they're humans?

They share the same feelings - so, by definition, wouldn't you be making a comment about yourself?

Or should the three of you get together and start a book club?

Just wonderin'

P.S. Why would ANYONE who felt this way write it to a support group?!?! And why would ANYONE who felt this way be reading support group message boards?!?! I think this is a hoax. Retort, anyone?



Weiss
1106 days ago
i think it could be more accurately stated: i don't like interacting with people because they all seem out to screw with my emotions.

also, it sucks existing when you don't interact well with others. i have to go to work to keep myself in groceries, but i've cut my interactions down. most of my coworkers would not benefit from interacting with me, therefore their spiteful behavior is justified. i am not a manager, and i dislike a lot of them for being petty and toxic towards work. once they caught on that i disliked them they had to sabotage me to keep me from becoming a manager, since it is in their best interest to promote people who like them and attack people who don't. they did a fine job and i stopped trying, and still receive plenty of resentment because everyone knows i could be two or three times better at my job.

outside of work i think there is less politics, but still you wouldn't want to interact with someone who has nothing to gain from you or who you actually dislike. if someone knows you dislike them they will engage in spiteful behavior. therefore this post makes perfect sense. the author dislikes people, therefore all the authors interactions with people become toxic. if you liked someone you would be more motivated to put up with their crap and work it out together.