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Hi, my name is Jack I just moved to a new school in the 7th grade. I'm having to meet new friends and stuff and I'm sure you all know how hard that can be. I'm a sporty guy I consider myself normal and everything. I talk and stuff but I'm not exactly the most outgoing guy either I guess I am kind of shy. Well, anyways, I was in class today as usual... it was Language Arts. My teacher asks me to come up to the board to write an answer down so I'm getting pretty nervous b/c I am new and everything, but like as soon as I start to sit down my teacher looks at me and says very seriously "You need to find your personality Mr. (and then says my last name)." So I'm thinkin.... what the hell is she talking about.. not only was I embarrassed but I was confused and I felt like punching her in the face. I consider myself a normal guy that talks to people when I guess people talk to me but I don't understand why anyone (especially a teacher) have to stand up and say something like that. It's not like I stand up and call her a fat bitch which is what I felt like doing. Shes not exactly in the greatest shape of her life. Thats not the point the point is I wouldn't just stand up and blurt out something in the middle of class to hurt their feelings so I don't see why she saw a "need" to tell me that... if anything she couldve at least waited until after class to tell me something like that if she really felt I needed to hear it. I don't know whats wrong with me though...like I said I consider myself normal.... I just don't understand... it doesn't make any sense. When she said that I was shocked and I was confused and didn't know what the hell she meant at all... I just sat back down at my desk...or whatever....and was like what...?????
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Sorry I didn't mean to put "understood" I meant understand. But like what if some chick in the middle of class said to you "Hey a;fjdsakl4p08a7rufja;jrefods;adeoiaf thanks!" You would be like WHAT????????!!!!!!!!! What the hell are you talking about ? RIGHT? Well, this was exactly how I felt when the teacher said that to me.
I don't exactly know how I act around people or how people see me as, b/c I can't take me out of myself and see how I act without having an out of body experience. So ... ya... I don't know what my personality is... I'm just a guy that talks....a normal guy that talks plays sports and does what he likes... what the hell would you call that.... ya.. I'm pretty sure you would call that normal would you not? I am so confused... :(
Hi Jack
that teacher was rude! There was absolutely no reason for her to say that to you, and especially since you are new, she should have had extra sensitivity to your feeling shy.
Many young people feel reserved during class and there is nothing wrong with that...as long as you are doing what you need to academically and not misbehaving then she has no reason to embarrass you that way. In fact, it reflects very poorly on her own IMO
as this seems to have really upset you, maybe have a chat with your school counselor about it and/or mention it to your parents. if this teacher persists in singling you out for insensitive comments, you may want to request a meeting with her, you, your parents and the counselor to settle things.
hope you feel a bit better at being able to vent about it here, and that things will improve in her class.
I just wish I knew why she would say something like that? Because now I feel as if I have to go change something about me thats not right. I wish people would just keep stuff to their selves. I just honestly do not see what would possess a teacher of all people to verbally stand up and say something like that to a young child, especially in the middle of a class room. I don't see why they would feel the need to. Did she not think about the consequences of saying something like that? Of how it would make me feel? What is wrong with people these days? She didn't even say anything to me after class I just left, I felt left out and just weird.... Kids may have problems but her job and responsibility as a teacher is to "teach" and nothing else... if she wanted to examine peoples personality disfunctions(according to her I have one) then maybe she should think about a career in psychology... That really pissed me off. If I want to get examined I'll go see a damn doctor its none of her concern. HER JOB IS TO TEACH!!!!!!!!
Anyways thanks for your help.
you're welcome and yup you are right her job is to teach!
honestly, I wouldnt worry about it...some people just arent happy unless others are conforming to their expectations, even if those expectations often have no basis in reality.
just be yourself and if you personally feel you need changes, make them, but not because of some insensitive person!
I do need to work on my shyness. Thanks again. That statement alone helped me a lot.
Hi Jack,
I am sorry to hear you had a hard time at school. I used to teach myself, but had to quit because it was too stressful for me. I strongly suggest that you talk to your teacher. I know that I have said things that have had positive effects on students- my previous students would come back to tell me that all the time. BUT, I have also said things that were misinterpreted by a few of my students over the years. If a student were to become upset with me, I would want to know that he/she felt comfortable enough to tell me, so we could resolve the situation. If you have to spend the rest of the year with her, POLITELY ask her why she made that comment towards you and let her know how you felt. If she's really just an ass, then go to the guidance counsellor. Just Don't ever curse or have an attitude- not that I'm saying you do...
Don't make too big a deal out of it unless you have to.
I was shy in school, and wish I had said something to teachers who did things like that to me. Do you mind writing what you wote on the board?
Lets just not go and hang the teacher already. You are new, and while it may not have had the best effect on you, it may of worked with other students, and that may be why she is doing it. To possibly help you understand that you dont have to be shy, that you are a lot better than you think about.
I would also recommend to ask her nicely about the comment. I dont think she meant it that way, surely she wouldnt of if she said it in front of the whole class.
Best,
Clyde
Hi Jack. I have a question, are you angry at your teacher or at yourself? You have doubts about her words, and you want someone to agree with you, so you can be 100% sure that you are normal and do things right. Belive me I understand your feelings, I was there to. You shouldn't analyse yourself from outside, because it's impossible. You must feel and understand this world from your point of view, and if someone says you need to improve, it's not a bad thing. It means they want you to be better, it doesn't mean you aren't good already, but that you have a potential to be better. So when someone says you are bad at something, don't think that you lock something or you are not good, think how can you do that better. If you do so you'll grow as a person and you woun't be afread of others opinion. Good luck
That makes a lot of sense, and I realize that now. I guess to answer your question... I'm angry at myself and the teacher. She shouldn't have done what she did, but in a way its my fault that I am this way because the only person that is responsible for me and my actions and what I do is me and only I have the power to change myself..even if its bad or not bad... I don't really know..its hard for me to tell if what I am doing is.. I guess effective enough..I don't know its hard to put it. But you are definetaly right, and I 100% agree with you. So from now on I will just concentrate on myself and not let what other people say effect me b/c I know that I will be fine in the end and be confident with myself no matter what happens, b/c I have to, to live a happy and successful life in my opinion, so theres no sense in concentrating on negative aspects of life. Thanks for your input I do appreciate it.
To answer Melyns question to the whole writing on the board thing was fine I guess or at least I thought it was until I started to sit back down and my teacher said that stuff to me, then I was completely shocked, confused, and just angry at her, and not exactly feeling too confident with myself. You are also right Clyde, but I don't think it should be the teachers responsibility to resolve a kids shyness problem in the class because as a matter of fact the kids probably just think I'm weird now or something....Melyn I'm sure knows exactly what I mean when I say that if she said something like that to me in class it would make my relationship with the kids even more awkward, it wouldve benefitted me better if she didn't say that, if I took little baby steps into coming out of my shell and getting to know the students better so I could communicate with them based on their interests and then maybe finally I could possibly get over being shy in that class once I have established myself. She should at least know as a mature grown up that I have to live life enough as a shy person to finally understand that I have to change for myself if I don't want to be shy anymore. My teacher should know that I have to basically just grow out of my shyness like many other kids do naturally. She shouldnt "think" she needs to take it upon herself to change me and my shyness or whatever the hell it is that she thinks I have an issue with, and besides...? Is she gonna sit there and say that to every damn shy kid that has a problem in her class?? I very very highly doubt she would... so why in the hell would she say it to just one person?? ME!?
Theres other kids that are also not exactly the most outgoing kids in her class either. Why the hell didn't she say anything to them? Its like shit only happens to me for some reason... thats why I am concerned. Its like things are so bad with me that..like...I don't know.. I dont want to sound negative but...why in the hell did she single me out? Theres im sure at least 50+ other kids at that school that are sort of like me some of them in the same class as me .. and she chooses me to say that to!!!!! What the hell?? Right??? I'd say I feel pretty damn confident towards my opinion on this one... thats just weird...