To put it simply, I don't feel like I belong here. And by here I mean this level of reality/this world/this life. I don't feel like I belong around humans. I don't feel like one of them. I feel like I'm something else, should be somewhere else, with completely different people. I feel as if I should be someone/somewhere/something else completely. I know exactly who I am according to my family and this world's view of me, but it doesn't feel like "me." I don't know how else to explain it. I just feel unattached to this reality. I'm not depressed, so it's nothing like that. I've had this feeling since I was young, so it's nothing recent that's occurred.


Answers


Edahn
1868 days ago
That's a little like how people describe Depersonalization Disorder. Google it and read about it. My understanding is that it is a response to trauma and stress.

It also sounds a bit like Schizotypal Personality. Check it out and see if it makes sense. The gist of schizotypal is having odd thoughts and behavior.

But to be honest, I'm not sure. I am reluctant to classify everything as a disorder. Have you ever read about past lives and reincarnation? I used to be interested in the subject and remember watching a program back in the day about a kid who had felt out of place for a long time and had dreams of another family. Eventually, he did some investigation and found a family and home that was familiar to him. He didn't end up staying with them, but he was able to find closure and live out his life.

Is there any other behavior or thinking you notice seems to be much different from everyone else's?



Incendia
1868 days ago
I will definitely read up on what you've suggested. As for other things, there have been odd occurances where it feels like my canine teeth are longer/getting longer. This occurs especially when I eat meat or get angry. When I get angry, I don't think about punching someone or anything like that. It's very predatorial and scary. Instead of punching or slapping or the typical reaction, I think of leaping on them, dragging them to the ground with my teeth in their neck and ripping them apart. I know that's insane, but it's true.



Edahn
1868 days ago
That's interesting. I honestly don't know. And just so you know, I'm not a therapist. On the other hand, I'm not even sure a therapist would know what to say to this.

I can see a few possibilities:

1. This is something related to depersonalization. (maybe)

2. This is a type of delusion. (doubt it)

3. This is something related to Autism. I know at least one woman with autism has said that she feels and thinks more like an animal than an average person.

4. You are imagining things and playing a game with yourself, perhaps out of boredom or identity confusion.

5. This is a problem for a spiritual guru. Buddhists believe that we have animal karma. That means that you carry characteristics from your past animal lives into this one. There are some practitioners who develop "silas" which are spiritual gifts or powers. One of these powers is the ability to see a person's past lives. Cool huh? Having not experienced any of this stuff, I am reluctant to say whether it's true or not with confidence, though I lean towards yes. Maybe, big MAYBE, that has something to do with all this.

Which one is it? I don't know. What I would urge you to do is:

1. Keep reading about those disorders I posted.

2. Remember that even if you don't feel like you belong here, that you have still been given this great opportunity to participate in this strange, fantastic world. Don't fuck it up! :) Keep your instincts in check and make smart decisions.

3. Find some closure so you can make peace with this and with whatever you conclude. For me, finding closure would require that I gain some understanding and consults with a variety of experts (therapist, gurus, and perhaps some authors of some relevant books). Maybe that would work for you too. You can do some good research online my experimenting with some keywords like "animal past life" or "animal karma" or "autism animal."

Hope this helps!

Edahn



bella
1868 days ago
^^^^^^^^

Excellent post Edahn:)

I think that you should definately consult a psychiatrist for the way you're feeling. To be honest I know for certain that your canine teeth can't grow beyond full maturity. How old are you and have you ever told anyone about this?

I have seen a show where this man believed that he was a cat, so he had plastic surgery done on his face to make him appear more cat like. His upper lip is split, cheek implants, teeth filed pointy and metal studs put around his mouth so he can snap on whiskers. He also wears a tail and long fake nails. Personally I think this would be a hard life to live and he has an obvious disorder to believe this. He should be recieving psychological treatment for this problem.

There also been a case where a child was left outside to live in the backyard with the dogs and she grew up believing that she was a dog and walked on all four legs. But this is a case of extreme neglect and isolation.

I think you should look up all the information Edahn gave you and also make an appointment with a doctor, who can send you for a psychological evaluation. I hope that you won't be content with feeling like this and not get help. Best of luck and I hope you find answers. :)



zanzivar
1868 days ago
I have often felt unattached in this life as well and often felt that I wasn't really here. But I think everyone feels like that. We're all a bit confused as to who we are, what we are here for and where are we going. This is one of the great mysteries of life but is one of our major driving forces at the same time. Can you really tell who you really are? I know that I can't anyway. Every day I am discovering something new about myself all the time and I have often done things that I said I would never do.

I think we are open to so much change it is unreal. On the one hand we are told that we can be or achieve anything we want yet another part of us says we can't and then all of a sudden we end up surprising ourselves or some unexpected event comes along to throw our thinking completely out.

There is an animal instinct in us all anyway and I would be a great believer in past lives. I think our minds tune into these past lives very often, gathering information to solve problems ect. Of course, if there are past lives then there must be future lives also. Whatever our hobbies are at the moment could be skills we are learning for future lives. Who knows we could be an animal in a future life as well. When I think about the future I always see myself travelling towards it on a beautiful white horse called Zanzivar. Hence my name!

Zanzivar.



Clyde
1854 days ago
Very good posting from all of you. I do think it is depersonalization as well. Have you talked to a doctor about it?

Best,

Clyde



Midas
1497 days ago
I don't know if I can write as much as those ahead of me or if I am even reviving a dead conversation but let me tell you, I understand were you are coming from and I have tamed it. I still feel detached from others but sentimentally so. I found that through my lack of "thereness" I can think more clearly. I don't know what to think about all if the former life stuff above but I do know that all I have experienced has changed me and that through meeting others like me I have come to accept not only who, but what I am. What I am is different and that isn't bad, not by a long shot. I can't say what will work for you but see a cousaler learn what you hold as right and wrong and live for the right. I guess I wrote longer than expected, but I hope it will help.



WeirdAl
995 days ago
well duh,... welcome to the human condition.....unless you're nominated "blonde queen" &/or asleep, then by-definition , We must all realize, that there is at least one big block between US. That being our thick skull. No offence to you, 'cause I got one too......so, that makes it at least two things always blocking US from truely expressing:

what we mean , what we are , what we think , what what what. BY-DEFINITION

one word in context in my train (woo-woo) might mean something very different to you. I forget what the word is, but there is a word in "spanish" that to Mexicans means buddy or whatever term of endearment; where to Portoricans it means boy whose wife is cheating.

Forgive my spelling........

So welcome to the "Human Condition" .... If I knew where to be , I'd start at the Lottery & End breaking all barriers.

.....my band in US : by-definition YouTube : IBEW drummer ....

I'll see your comments there sooner than here..... "human condition" is a song I wrote.......also "Doting Over Death" oh to chase the ma-cob ...



mnmcgee
699 days ago
I have always felt like I dont belong "here"... since I was a child. And i have found myself hating it here as an adult from time to time. I'm not depressed or suicidal or schizophrenic. It's hard to explain. It's like I'm ready to move on and see whats next.