Hey . I am megan and i am 17
I dont know what is happening to me i cant stop crying .Every night i cry and cry and think of bad things that have happend in my life.
I live with my dad as my mum commited suicide when i was five and even though i dont really remember her i hate her ..a lot.
But my biggest problem is i am OBSESSED with two people one is a female this is not a sexual thing..i want her to be my mum and i think about her ALL the time and everyhting she says to me i cant forget and i go over it and over it in my head all day..i want her to be in my life But i also want to kill her ..so we die together i Know this sounds Phyco but ..The other person is a male and i ask him to hurt me like last night he hit my head and split it open and i was laughing ??
I ask him to have sex with me so hard i bleed and cry but i want the pain and i want people to Know i need the pain i want people to think i am a phyco ??
I know i may seem mad but i am a nice person and i like normal things like clothes. Fashion and things like that..i Kind of obsess with my looks
I also self harm very badly on one of my arms needing stitches .
I think i could have everyhting i ever wanted and i would never stop feleing like this so i dont think there is any other way out other then to kill myself and i dont really want to but i think i will
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