i just cant do it no more i reached my breaking point i feel the need to just cut her out my life all my mom ever does is belittle me she never has nothing positive to say about me its been this way since i was little she even told me that she could see i was going be a bitch when i reached the age of 5 today is the day where i just realize i cant do this no more its either i talk to her very little or cut her off complete she is getting on my damn nerves.today i never said hi to her boyfriend and he took it so offensive i was walking pass their room and i heard them talking about me he kept saying so much negative stuff saying how am going suffer when i live with my boyfriend then her boyfriend says i have no emotion because i don't want to talk to him and how because i don't cook for people in my house my boyfriend is not going to put up with me first of all me and my boyfriend relationship is equal i will clean and he will cook he doesn't know anything about us yet hes talking and my own mother is going on sides with him saying how she knew i was going be this way from i was little then saying when my boyfriend changes on me am going to understand life so shes basically hoping for my boyfriend to act poorly to me i just cant stand this anymore am leaving on Sunday to a different country with my boyfriend of 2 years and am just wondering to myself should i have a relationship with my mother when all she does is make me depressed and sad i just cant do it no more she even goes around telling people when i get pregnant she will be taking care of the baby am 20 by the way so shes basally saying i will not be a good mother how can someone just sit down talking so bad about their child then has the nerve to say i will be a bad mother am not even pregnant yet and when i talk personal stuff to her she goes and tell her friends and my family i just think if i continue to have a close relationship with her i will grow to be a hateful person because am begging to feel that way any advice please and sorry for the bad spelling am very emotional right now am crying as this moment


Answers


bella
744 days ago
Hi ((ned224)) - hugs to you and sorry you're so upset. Its very wrong for your mom to talk about you like this. Since you're very upset I don't advise cutting off ties right now or when you're leaving. What you can do is set personal boundaries. How old are you and have you finished your education? My only concern is, not to end up being dependent on your boyfriend - this means having a job, so you won't be financially dependent. I'm not sure what country you're moving to, but make sure this is a secure move and not an emotional one you may regret. This is why you don't want to burn any bridges for now.

If a few years later the relationship is still toxic, you can reconsider. Alienation does occur especially if a person isn't safe or parent is a threat to adult child emotionally/mentally. Moving out/with a boyfriend is an important decision and you want to do it for the right reasons. Best of luck.



anamtanvir
744 days ago
i can runderstad what u feel.but dnt cut off.it wud give u more pain.mthrz are possessive abt da kids nd want unconditonal love nd respects,moreover,nobody on earth is perfect.work da thngs out,show ur love 2 her.she loves u 2 bt if 4 sum reason she dsnt expresses it,dsnt means she hates u.try to tolerate smal thngs,jst believe in ur love 4 her.gve her da luv she wants 4rm u.u wl get more dan u believe.work thngs out,spnd gud tym,tel her what u want,vd care,rspct nd love.remembr,u wd get a million boyfrnds,bt mthr once lost,cant b found,just go nd gve her a big hug nd say i love u



Wahzammo
733 days ago
Cut her off. Make sure you tell her on the way out what a hurtful spiteful bitch she has been.

Nobody should put up with that sort of emotional abuse, least of all from their mother. I waited until I was 27 to tell my mother to stay out of my and it was the best move I ever made.

Don't for a second let people tell you that she's your mother and you should give her a chance. Being your mother makes the behavior ten times worse. it is un-excusable.



Forgetthepainandsmile
726 days ago
First of all, I am so sorry that you have to deal with that bullshit. It's wrong and unfair for her to treat you like that. How old are you? Are you going to be 18 soon? Are you in school? If you are close, I would say wait it out. Do good in school, get a job, take up a class of something you enjoy maybe? Keep yourself away from her, so you don't have to hear it. Basically, show her up. If she really thinks those things and you truly think she is wrong which I am sure she is, really show her how wrong she is. Do better than she ever did. You can definitely cut her off if you feel like that will make things better for you. If you think that will make you feel better go for it, but if you are close to 18, being able to legally get the hell out of there, I say wait. You can even just cut her off slightly, only talk to her if you have to, if you don't already do that, and don't let her see that she's hurting you. I know it's hard but act like you are happy as ever, bite your tounge and pretend like its all okay. If she's not hurting you or having an effect on you at all she has no power.