Avatar Posted by serhodes88 43 days ago (Question)
We have been puzzled for years by our mother. Some background - She had polio (1951) in her leg, and has walked with a brace, ever since. She has been diagnosed with post-polio syndrome, and is even in a group. She went to college - was a good student. Got married, adopted me, had my sister - raised us on a farm in midwest - in a nice obsessively clean home. She is very active and involved in the community, has many friends, respected and admired by everyone - but this has been going on since we can remember - honestly, we can't stand being around her, for any length of time! I'm totally afraid of her. All the family, but the two of us, (my sister and myself) refuse to come around anymore - because she just "snaps" on you, out of the blue - and it just makes you very very angry and embarrassed the way she reacts to things in just polite conversation! Big control freak - you can't tell her anything - she can take zero constructive criticism - she will immediately turn on the tears - or slam you with something deeply hurtful. Most times she doesn't laugh and is not the least bit amused with anything you find funny, and loves to stare you down when you make a joke, but you must chuckle when it comes from her. I describe her as cruel and sadistic, for lack of a better term - I realize that may sound dramatic. My reaction: Sometimes I am so angry the way she talks to me and even worse - to my sister, I go home and I am shaking. My sister recently told me her counsellor says it sounds like our mother has OCPD - but that may just be his way to get my sister to realize it in herself. I think with mother, the classic symptoms are there - hording posessions, controlling, obsessive, neat freak, etc. but there is something more to it than that. I know this is going to sound like Mommy Dearest. Forgive me. I just can't find anything on it. Can you help us at all?


Answers

Written by bellacutie 43 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

You sound like you're in a difficult position. How old is your mother? Has she ever been diagnosed with a mental disorder? Since she's used to always having the upper hand, it would be difficult to change her unless she wants help. Does she drink? We're not doctors or therapists here so we're limited in how much we can offer. Since you don't live with her anymore - tell her you will walk away if she doesn't respect you in the future. Has she always been like this even when you were children?

Written by Chemar 42 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

is she being seen by a doctor for this? it really does sound like she needs a proper evaluation? Some of what you are describing is almost dementia sounding....altho yes, some is OCDish...but the way she goes for people honestly sounds far more may be happening. I would really try to get her evaluated by a professional. perhaps someone in her post-polio group can help persuade her to seek help? She surely cant be happy being this way....so maybe she will be willing to find out what is wrong and try to get help to control these outbursts.

Written by Clyde 41 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

It does sound a bit older age kind of stuff.

Can she get checked out by a doctor?

You all may have to lay down the law with her and let her know that she cannot continue to act this way, especially if it isnt older age stuff or something like that.

Best,

Clyde


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