Avatar Posted by TheGreatest122 260 days ago (Question)
So my best friend and me met in 7th grade. We were exactly the same, and were extremely similar. We both liked the same kind of music, played the same sports, wore the same clothes:basketball shorts, ankle socks, and sweatshirts with Chuck Norris and other stuff. We both weren't popular, but also were not outcasts, and girls did not really have any attraction to either of us. Anyway, me and him were the funny kids, but it was mainly me. I would always show him funny videos and we would have tons of inside jokes. He would share these jokes with other people, which got me slightly annoyed, but not really. Eventually, he won funniest boy, and when he would share our inside jokes, he would say "It's my duty as funniest boy" which also ticked me off a bit, but not that much. We then played football together, and he caught a pass on defense and intercepted the pass, which made him a little more popular. Then lacrosse season came up (I live on LI so its a very popular sport up here) and he made the team, while I didn't. This was really the key factor to making him popular. He then made up a song about a kid making fun of him, which everyone thought was funny, and then the very popular kids started liking him.

Now we're in 8th grade, and he has changed everything. He listens to rap instead of alternative, which is what we used to listen to, he wears midcalves(long socks), khakis, corduroys, and all these preppy clothes which are what the popular kids wear. He goes to all these parties now, and I always see videos or posts on facebook from kids who didn't even know he existed in 7th grade. I always tell him that hes changed, but he doesnt listen. We had an argument recently, and I told him that I hated his new personality and everything, then he told me that I was the greatest person he had ever met and that he tries to ease down on his new look and everything, and that all he really cared about in my school were me and my other friend. I try to remember this whenever I see him with the popular kids and ignore it, but I can't. What should I do? I've been hanging out with my other friend a lot and I'm waiting for him to change again, but it doesnt seem like its gonna happen any time soon. He also hangs out with my other popular friend a lot, and doesn't invite me. Please help. I don't want any tips like "try to wait" or "talk to him about what hes doing" because I've already tried those.


Answers


bella
259 days ago
Hi - I understand its difficult when a friendship or friend changes but unfortunately this happens, especially during the teen years. Young people go through many changes and are finding their personality / style during these years. If he happened to find a niche in popularity, you can't really blame him for enjoying it. Since you already shared your feelings, try not to feel bad or judge him and enjoy any interaction that happens between you.

I have a 14 (almost 15) yr old and her friendships have changed as she transitioned from grade 7 to high school. Try not to take it personal but I do understand you feel bad he's not your best friend ATM. If you remain easy going about this, at least you won't end up disliking him. Be happy if he excels at sports and enjoy this time in schools with your friends. Good luck.
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audreyray
259 days ago
Have you considered that maybe his "changes" are what he actually wants? People love belonging to groups and being liked and appreciated. He's getting that and I think that you should be supportive of it instead of waiting for him to change himself back. I mean, he's not being a jerk about it. If you were in his position, wouldn't you want him to feel happy for you?
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Roukan
254 days ago
Hello,

There are two types of people in the world, those that lead and those that follow. It sounds like your friend is a follower. You will find throughout your life the things you like today want necessarily be what you like a year from now. Things change, people change, we have to learn to change with the flow of life. You guys are at a place in your lives where you will see a lot of change, this is where you will learn adaptability. Be true to who you are, and if your buddy is a true friend, he will come around. In the mean time, make new friends. One can never have to many friends.
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iluvdukie1
254 days ago
I suggest that you tel him that it is really selfish of him to ditch you, and that it is really bothering you. Tell him that you know he isn't going to change, since it has been a long time and he constantly tells you that you are his friend, but yet does nothing with you. Tell him that he is just another one of those people that follow the crowd and are not original in any way. Maybe that will big him a little, or if you do it enough, maybe it will snap him out of it and make him realize how rude he has been to you. I get how you feel, I think my one friend is starting to do this to me too. I really hope that he realizes that he is wrong. Good luck!
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