Avatar Posted by glorygc980 26 days ago (Question)
My mother has been out of work for about five years now and is living off of disability and my grandparents. She lives with my two brothers at my grandparents house. She constantly calls me saying they have no food and the house is a mess, but won't do anything to change it. I try my hardest to help them anyway i can, but I'm only 19 and trying to start a life on of my own. I just recently got a call from my younger brothers school saying he has been absent from too many days of school and now he's truant. My mom has no control over my 12 year old brother, she lets him stay home when he wants. He had this same problem in sixth grade and now it's continuing into seventh grade.When he stays home him and my mother sleep all day and don't wake up till the afternoon. She also shares a bed with my 12 year old brother which i feel is inappropriate.She constantly yells at my grandparents and uses there money unwisely. There phone was cut off and they complain there is no food. I've called social services before but my grandparents refuse to tell social services anything, and my younger brother won't say anything either.
I don't know what to do anymore. My father is trying to get custody of my brother but i have to do all the paper work because he lives in texas and he doesn't have the money to fly back and forth or fo a lawyer. Please i need any advice on what i should do. Or what information i need to document for social services. Even legal advice would help. I'm desperate and stressed!


Answers

Written by AppleJuiceGirl 26 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I'm sorry, I don't think I'm going to be much help here, but I just wanted you to know that what you're doing for your family is very admirable. You are only a year younger than me and, while I live on my own, I couldn't imagine supporting a family at this age.

Families are very protective over each other. I was "in the system" and living with my grandparents for four years of high school, and if my social workers even hinted that they were "doing something wrong" they would get so defensive. I know it's because they loved me and wouldn't want me taken away from them (in their eyes, it also implies they didn't have good parenting skills -- even though they did). I know that's no help to you, but I thought you should know that what they're doing, though wrong, is done out of love.

Objectively, I would tell you that this isn't your responsibility and just walk away. But, I know you can't do that. If I were you, I would take action through your brothers school if you haven't already. Also, doing what you can to help your dad get custody. I know it must be stressful, but maybe, if you do "the work" now, you won't have to deal with this situation much longer. Again, I don't know how or if that will help you, but please be strong and know that you're doing a good thing.

Written by Chemar 26 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I am very surprised that Social Services are not checking into the situation?

I agree that you are doing all you can and it is remarkable for a 19yo to take on such responsibility.

Can you try to arrange a meeting with the school counselors? perhaps they can give advice?

Have you or your father tried calling legal aid (in texas and in your home state) to see if they can assist in the custody issue. when the well being of minors and senior citizens are at stake, someone should be able to do something! (just google legal aid and you will get contact info)

hoping others here will have more specific advice for you

I do hope you are taking care of yourself and not letting all this stress rob you of your health.

Written by Clyde 25 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I would recommend consulting with the school counselors and you may have to try to get ahold of social services again and let them know how severe it is going on there.

Legal aid is a good idea too, as Chemar stated.

You cannot, nor should not expect to have to raise this family on your own, you should be expected to have your own. But what you are doing is indeed admirable.

Best,

Clyde


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