I'm 29 years old and about a year ago I got married. My husband and I had some problems 2 weeks into the marriage. We were able to work through them and are stronger now than we've ever been.
I stayed with my mom during the time my husband and I were having problems. Well, the day I went there and told her what was going on, her first response was "screw him" and I need to go get all my stuff from the house and move out. She didn't even encourage me to try and work things out.
Now that my husband and I have worked things out and are happy, she wants nothing to do with me. She basically told me that I was dead to her and as long as I'm with my husband I should consider her dead to me.
She sent me an email saying that I've embarrassed her and that she is ashamed of me.
I am really hurt and I don't know what to do. I obviously can't force her to want to have a relationship with me. She has exhibited this behavior in the past with her dad and her sister. She got into disputes with them and didn't talk to her dad until he had a stroke and she didn't talk to her sister for years.
When I told her I was engaged, she didn't seem as happy as I would have liked her to. As well when I was planning my wedding she didn't come do anything with me, she would always tell me to take my sister. When I asked her to walk me down the aisle, she said she didn't want to, that I should walk down by myself. She only did because my brother told her how upset I was that she said no.
She now hates my husband and his family. Which she never really got to know him the whole time we were together. She was always really busy working. She really didn't try and make an effort to get to know my in-laws either during the whole engagement. She didn't even come to my bridal shower.
I just don't know what to say to her. She has made me feel like I've done something awful to her. I don't have a relationship with my dad and I don't want to lose a relationship with my mother either, but I can't force her to want to have one with me.
Should I just leave it alone? Or should I try and talk to her again? I don't want her to says cruel things to me again, it's just too painful, nor do I want to say anything to her that is hurtful and I can't take back.
Notice: Psych Central Answers shut down to new questions on January 11, 2013.
Looking for a place to ask your question? Sign up today for our community (you'll need a separate account than the one you use here), and ask away!
Ask and answer questions about mental health and relationship issues in a safe & supportive environment. If you ask a question, you will have to answer someone else's first, in order to give back to others here.