My wife and I have had problems from almost the beginning regarding my family, specifically the tension between my wife and my mother. I have grown up with my parents and consider them to be the best parents I could've had. To my wife’s defense, my parents did do and say things early on to make my wife feel insecure or feel as if they haven’t accepted her yet and didn't respect her. But as time went on, these feelings inside my wife became much worse, to the point now that she is threatening to divorce me if we do not move out of state, even though my parents started to back down on the things that she disliked. She wants to never see them or deal with them again. The thoughts that she has about them are totally exaggerated, and I believe she has no really good reason to believe that they are so horrible, and that moving away from them is the only solution to “save our marriage”. She has admitted many times to having a severe case of obsessive compulsive disorder. She also has admitted on many occasions that she knows that she can be overbearing, and hard on everyone, and that she has exceptionally high standards of others. Also, from my interaction with her, she also has characteristics of bipolarizm, and really bad mood swings. I given her lots of space and was as understanding as possible during her pregnancy and even during the months followings her labor, but it isn’t getting any better. In fact its getting so much worse, that I am preparing myself for a possible divorce. This kills me inside due to the fact that we’ve just had our first child, and I love him dearly, and can’t imagine myself living without him.
Beyond that, I have a good stable job with excellent benefits and health insurance, and grew up in this city so I am familiar with everything that I will need to take care of my wife and our new born son. Moving to another state would mean starting all over, which makes me so nervous. Finding a new job, new place to live, dealing with a very expensive move due to the long distance for where she would like to move. I absolutely do not want to move and risk everything that I have built here.
What should I do? How should I approach her? When I first told here I had bad feelings about moving, it always started an intense fight and she would say, “Well I moved from my family and friends to marry you, so aren’t I worth you moving and doing the same”. She moved from another state when we got married 3 years ago.
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