Avatar Posted by nightbird183 16 days ago (Question)
My best friend won't talk to me, I'm just scared she hates me, we've been so close for almost 6 years now. She says she can't stand my actions and how i say i'll change them but i never do. I think this time i've hit rock bottom, i know i need to change, i can't lose her. My worst fear is having the people i love hate me, leave me, or finding out they never loved me in the first place. I want to talk to her about it but she won't talk to me or even look at me. I'm scared to talk to her, what if she never loved me?? I'm a seriously emotional person when it comes to certain things and this is the biggest one. I just don't know how to approach her, because there are also some accusations that she has made against me and i'm not sure if they are true (but my memory is HORRIBLE, so i don't exactly trust that statement)I would really like some outside advice!!


Answers

Written by Clyde 16 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Thats pretty tough. You may just have to let go at least for now, especially with her not wanting to talk to you or look at you.

Look at the accusations and think--do any of them have credence? If so, you definitely need to back away and let time take over for a good long while.

Whatever the situation is, probably the best advice at the moment is just to allow her as much space as possible and dont talk to her or about her.

Best,

Clyde

Written by Chemar 16 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Hi

I agree it is probably best to just give her space right now. let her be the one to approach you when she is ready to have contact again

I do wonder tho, you mention not remembering if you did the things she accuses you of, and that you are highly emotional.

Do you know why you have this problem recalling what you may have said or done?

Written by nightbird183 15 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

No i don't, I always thought it was just me having a bad memory, but i have noticed that when i don't take my meds for my ADD my memory gets more foggy...thing is, i cant find my meds :S but thanks guys i appreciate your answers...its just so weird not talking to her after 6 years of talking practically every day?? Ya its weird....

And as for what she accuses me of, i have to admit some of it is true...and i've never felt worse, i want to promise her i'll change because i know i can, an i know i will now...i've made that promise, and since i'm seeing a therapist now, i will have no choice but to work on my probelms

But an update, my sister and her have arranged a date for us to talk and work things out...i'm kinda nervous :S

Written by Clyde 15 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I can understand being nervous, but hey, at least you will get to talk to her again, right?

You can discuss about the therapy and all that kind of stuff...and be sincere and honest.

Hope it works out for you.

Best,

Clyde

Written by bellacutie 15 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Ultimately you need to change for yourself, not your friend. Can you give us an example of what she expects you to change. I want to see if she's reasonable or too demanding of you as a friend. Good luck, Bella

Written by nightbird183 14 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Bellacutie-oh i know shes right...

and i DO have to change. One of my problems is my family and i are pretty broke, and shes very well off...she seemed like she has no problem lending me and my family money..and we are paying it back every two weeks...but i shouldn't have accepted it in the first place...i will NEVER take money and not pay it back ever again..thats where i start my change....but the thing is....shes got her issues too..i mean we ALL do...i help and deal with hers and vise versa...

Clyde- ya i agree...i just want everything worked out..this is causing me a lot more stress then it should be....

thanks for your help everyone, i'll let you all know how it goes on sunday :)

Written by Clyde 12 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I know you know, but money is definitely one of the big issues in any relationship. I wouldnt borrow any from anyone, especially someone not family, unless I absolutely had to do so.

Let us know ;)

Best,

Clyde


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