Avatar Posted by Annie 165 days ago (Question)
Okay, so I have been kinda feeling depressed since I started high school. I have never been a particularly happy person, but ever since I started high school it has gotten worse. My grades (which used to be A's) are slipping to the point where I am failing a class, and I just have trouble concentrating and am never interested anymore. I also get headaches everyday which doesn't help. I feel so frustrated all the time, and I go home every night and cry and wonder how my life got to this point. My parents are threatening to take away my sports next if my grades don't go up, and honestly I don't know what I can do without sports. Do you think it is a fair punishment to take away sports? I feel like if They do this my self esteem will lower even more. Sports are the only thing I still enjoy and look forward to, and am good at. So my question basically is, could I be suffering from depression? And if so, does anyone have any ideas on how I should ask my parents for help? I know you might think I am just acting like a teen but I Think this is different. I don't even want to go out with my friends anymore or to parties, even if I wasn't banned from doing that already. :( thank you for reading and thanks in advance for your answers!


Answers


Chemar
165 days ago
Hi Annie

have you had a checkup with your doctor to be sure your health is ok. I see you play sport so you are likely getting enough exercise, but it is also important to maintain a healthy diet with whole foods rather than just canned, packaged, fast food etc so hope you are eating healthy too.

Depression is a very real clinical condition and can be caused by numerous things so that is why it is important to see the doctor and maybe have them run some blood tests too, just to be sure all your levels are where they should be. Then it would likely help to have a few sessions with a therapist to talk about your feelings and see if they feel this may be something that needs further attention.

I do think you should be honest with your parents about how you are feeling so that they understand that you aren't just slacking off at school but that you are dealing with this depression and you don't know why. When people have clinical depression, they can't just "snap out of it" as it is often due to a chemical imbalance in their brain, most often due to a neurotransmitter called serotonin being too low. There are foods and natural supplements, in addition to meds, that can help raise serotonin, but first you need to see those professionals who can tell if you need anything to help you.

If you don't feel able to open up to your parents, maybe talk to your school counselor

I hope things get better soon!
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bella
165 days ago
Hi - sorry you're having a hard time. Some schools require a certain average be maintained, to participate in sports but I still think you need sports. Better for your parents to restrict something else or really look why you're struggling.

First thing I'd encourage you to do is look at your lifestyle - young people are spending way too much time on social media sites and getting distracted from their work. Are you staying up too late which makes you unmotivated at school? Look at your diet - does it support you in sports or are you skipping meals and eating processed foods? Many people aren't getting enough sleep. It might be an organization problem and high school has a heavier workload and a lot peer stress.

Regarding parties - I have a 15 yr old and I've heard of drinking and other reckless behavior. Grades and having a goal is very important later on - don't let relationships sidetrack you. Check what self help methods would work and if you don't feel better tell your parents or see the school counselor. I hope you feel better soon and good luck in the new year.
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fastoldbiker
165 days ago
Hi – I totally agree with the answers given above. However I would like to say that I meet a lot of young people whose lives are being made miserable because of parents and schools laying down far too much pressure. Most parents want their children to do well at school and get the best grades possible as this gives the young person the best chance when seeking employment. But we all have our limits. When you are not at full health your abilities will suffer, but stress and pressure will make you ill also.

I do not think you are being treated fairly at all. Taking away things that you enjoy will not motivate you when you feel like you are failing; it will just make you more miserable. Exercise is the one of the very things that you really need when feeling depressed. I think that you should get yourself checked out in case there are any underlying physical reasons why you are not well; however I do think that you need to communicate with your parents. You need to tell them how you are feeling and the trouble that you are having. You need help, not pressure. You are not ‘failing’ deliberately or because you are not putting the effort in. People have limitations. You can only do the best you can do, and if that is not good enough you should not be punished for it.

I get really annoyed with parents and schools that just stress students. Stress does not motivate, it has the opposite effect, and makes people miserable in the process.

The best way to talk to your parents – pick a good time, ie not when they have just come in from work, or about to go out. Ask them both to sit down as you have something that you need to discuss. Start off by saying that you need their help, you would like them to listen about the problems you are having and ask how they can help you. Emphasize that you need their HELP.

If you are unable to get your parents see your point of view, try chatting with another family member (Aunt, Uncle, Grandparents?) or with you school counsellor.

For what it is worth, I think you do have a valid argument and I do not think that the situation is being handled in the best manner by your parents.

Best wishes and good luck, I hope that your parents can offer the help and support that you need.
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beautifuldreamer
164 days ago
Hello Annie.

I know it sounds very cliche to be saying this, but it's true. I think this is a natural feeling you are experiencing about life. I am in high school as well, and have felt what your feeling in my past. The best piece of advice for you that I have is not to bottle things up. Doing so will only make things worse and create bigger stress for you in your life.

And don't let your passion get away from you. If sports helps you feel good about yourself, and if it creates escape and makes you feel of some importance do not let it slip away. It is what will keep you sane from all of this hard time you are going through. Don't let your heart be troubled and know that any pain doesn't last forever. There will come a time, quite possibly a person, for you that will make all of this struggling worth it. Believe in that promise, for I know from experience.

Most of all, keep your head up. Strive to be happy regardless of your circumstance. Do your very best and there will be no regrets. There is no failure in trying.

Good luck to you and I know you can make it through.
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meh5150
159 days ago
maybe you should talk to a doctor to see if you have ADD or ADHD. i was diagnosed with ADD late in high school and was put on a medication to help me concentrate. before that i had no motivation to do anything in school and refused to do homework and my grades back then definately reflected this
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