I get really irritated with certain things really easily but only with certain people. I'm really close to someone and when they chew their gum loudly it gets to the point that I get so angry I can't handle it and I could cry from anger. But when other people chew their gum loudly I dont even care. Another example is when just a certain person eats for example Spitz really loudly, I cannot handle it. I could leave the house or blare an ipod in my ears, because it'll anger me so much or piss me off to the point of crying or yelling. But when other people do it I dont care. I don't understand what this is.. I've never met anyone else like this and when I tell people about it they think I'm just being a snob, when it honestly bothers me to an EXTREME! I honestly cannot handle it with some people! =( Is this not considered as abnormal perhaps?


Answers


Edahn
1902 days ago
MAYBE OCD? MAYBE?

I'm not a huge fan of trying to shove everything into a box (disorder). For the most part, I think it's misleading and doesn't really help. If you want to understand what's going on with you, forget about what disorder it is and use your own observations to track and understand it. You'll have a better understanding of yourself and the experience.

You can ask yourself: why do I get so irritated? Am I expecting to get irritated? Am I forcing myself NOT to get irritated and thereby irritating myself? Do I dislike these people? Do I feel unsafe around these people?



--canda--
1902 days ago
These people are people I love which makes it so much harder. They even think I have problems when I tell them something as simple as gum chewing would get me so angry. Even if I leave the room just the thought of knowing its happening gets me so mad. Also, they think I'm just making it up at points to have everything my way and its not that!



Edahn
1902 days ago
Well, lets forget about coming up with a diagnosis. Do you think you are EXPECTING to get annoyed by these behaviors? Are you imagining yourself getting annoyed? I would think that over the years, you've come to believe that your getting annoyed is inevitable and beyond your control.

What I'd suggest you do is LET YOURSELF get annoyed, but don't respond to it. You can treat your anger and annoyance like it was a stomach ache that you just had to live with without making a big deal out of it. Over time, it'll start to diminish. Even if you can't totally control your IRRITATION, you CAN control your reaction to that irritation. Will you get all miffed and huffy, or just relax and let it cruise on by?

I do see some OCD-like behavior. It might help to talk to a therapist.



bella
1902 days ago
Let's forget for a moment about getting annoyed when they're eating/chewing. You mentioned that it only happens with close family not outside people. I think it's very common where we have more tolerance for outside people than our own family, because we don't feel comfortable to be ourselves - so we put up a good front. Where do you think your patience for others comes from and could you choose to do the same for your family?

You also need to remember that they're not irritating you on purpose. Another thing that's good to do is deep breathing exercises. You could even get one of those people to on purpose chew gum loudly and you could sit and practice the deep breathing. This will end up desensitizing you, to the irritation and you may end up even laughing about it.

As families I think many people are irritated by little things and we either vent it out, ignore or burn about it. I think if you try to calm yourself when you're feeling this way, you'll realize that YOU do have control, instead of you thinking they have control(by annoying you).

You can also nicely explain how it bugs you and the benefits of proper manners while eating and chewing. Good luck. Bella



Edahn
1901 days ago
;) -- oops,that was supposed to be posted below



Edahn
1902 days ago
Good post bella. That gave me two more ideas.

1. Are you generally irritable or relatively happy and calm? Like bella said, maybe you're just letting your anger and frustration out with your close friends. It may help to look and see if there are other things (relationships, generally) in your life that are frustrating you and try to deal with them.

2. The other thing is making the image into something funny. If you can take the gum chewing and turn it into a visual, in your imagination, or something ridiculous or absurd or strange, like maybe you imagine them eating a fistful of gum that can't properly be chewed, you could CHOOSE to laugh at it rather than get frustrated. You could also imagine them chewing directly into a megaphone for everyone to hear.

...makes me crack up...



bella
1901 days ago
Thanks Edahn - great minds think alike :D



--canda--
1900 days ago
Thanks both of you. But yeah itprobably is because I am closer with them that I let it get to me. But sometime with other peoples families like my friends mom that really bothers me as well. Its been so many years that its really taken over and I cant control how angry it gets me. And since I've told them that it bothers me,whenever they DO do it I feel like they don't care that its bothering me so it makes me twice as pissed off. There are other things theyve done that get me really annoyed and angry and I just have to leave the room because I don't want to tell them that there is so much more that bothers me because I already feel so bad and so snobby but I can't deal with it!



Edahn
1900 days ago
Try some of the advice we gave you. It's good advice. Don't just assume that this is out of your control because then you never have to be responsible for it. Realize that your RESPONSE TO your anger and frustration IS within your control and start to play with it, like we've suggested. You'll be happy you did.



Clyde
1883 days ago
Nothing is ever entirely out of your control.

It may not hurt to get your hearing checked, either, it could possibly be a medical problem too.

Best,

Clyde