Avatar Posted by Sydney 396 days ago (Question)
Ok.I'm in Highschoo.. and I think i'm on the road to depression even tho I'm trying strongly to fight it. I'm sad all the time, becoming very non social.. I cry and don't know why. I know that I have more stress than the average teen and have to carry it.. also.. I'm confused on my orientation.. I hate it but i am.. i'm sorta having feelings for my best friend.. a girl.. and she has them back. I know it's wrong. but We both feel we can't control how we feel for each other. but I still like guys also.. but We've both tried so many times to end it, and let go.. and we can't. Please if you have any advice.... i'm really needing it. thanks.


Answers

Written by candika 396 days ago Rating: 2 | Rate Answer: + -

hi sydney

i'm sorry things sound so hard. High school is a confusing time for most people and i assure you that you aren't alone. You aren;t weird or anything. Many people struggle with these things. i understand how much this must hurt and how confused and scared you must be. i do hear you.

the best thing i can recommend is that you go to your school's guidance counselor and ask if they can get you into to see a therapist. You don't have to tell them why. If that doesn't work, try your family doctor. You need some help and it is ok to ask for it.

outside of that... sexual identity is a difficult thing to struggle with, especially if your beliefs tell you that what you feel is wrong or bad somehow. i don't know what your beliefs are, but i won't suggest they are right or wrong... that wouldn't be fair. i will tell you that anything that tells you that you are a bad person inside because of who you are should be put into question.

it is possible that your attraction is genuine and is part of your identity.. but it is also possible that it is a passing stage in your teen development years. Either way it does not mean you are a bad person.. ok? You have as much value and worth as anyone. It is also possible that you have trouble breaking this off because of the fact that it is forbidden to you.

These are all BIG questions and you need someone to help you sort it out. Reach out to someone. There are many many people in this world who understand exactly how you feel.

many blessings

Written by Clyde 395 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Hi Sydney:

I am sorry you are feeling so troubled at the moment. It is as Candika stated--you are not weird at all. People have different feelings at different times, etc. and everyone has a right to be entitled to feel those feelings that they have.

I would firstly discuss all of this with your school counselor and see where it leads you--the counselor has to keep silent on things you say as long as you are not going to harm yourself or others.

I hope this helps.

Best,

Clyde

Written by drjean 394 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Sydney, I replied to your other post already. ;)

Don't worry about your "orientation" for now. Hormones as teenagers cause all sorts of conflicting signals. There's plenty of time to decide later on.

Having a best friend, even as girls is a wonderful thing! Try not to allow the physical expressions go too far though. That adds to the confusion. Perhaps trying to add that in has caused some angst and is ruining the friendship. Maybe she is also feeling some peer pressure to "be" something she isn't, and not understanding that these types of feelings do occur with friends, and don't mean you are one orientation or another.

best wishes

drjean

Written by Sydney 391 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Thanks so much drjean. your advice has really given me alot to think about. Thank you.


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