Avatar Posted by feelscrazy222 232 days ago (Question)
When I graduated high school, I was perfectly fine I didn't have any weird thoughts, I wasn't unhappy in any way etc. I am 18 years old. In about December of last year I started having weird thoughts about killing my family members, friends, babies and sometimes animals, but I know I would never do these things, yet I was scaring myself because these thoughts upset me greatly, they lasted a couple of months, and then now they only happen every so often. My mother told me this is normal and people go through these types of things sometimes. I also thought about how I could just run my car into a tree if I wanted too. It was so strange. Then just recently, and this may sound awfully disturbing and disgusting, but I was doing an observation for a college class and they were 3-5 year olds and they were having breakfast sausage, when I saw them eating it, I picture like sexual acts, as in blow jobs, I didn't picture the little kids doing it but it reminded me of it. I felt disgusting and like a pervert, I want to be an elementary teacher but I don't want to be like that. I have never ever in my life experienced anything like that, never had thoughts prior to that, and I was never sexually traumatized or abused as a child. It seems very strange to me and I don't know what to do. I can't go to a therapist because I cant tell my parents about this, and I'm on their insurance. Obviously if I want to picture anything explicit in my head I can, and I did after I realized how I didn't picture it to initially begin with, and then that grossed me out even more. I love children in the most non sexual way as possible, and I really don't want to be mentally sick. What is wrong with me? Pleaseee help in the best way you can, I really have no where else to go.

There is also no history of mental illness in my family


Answers

Written by feelscrazy222 232 days ago - Show / Hide this answer Rating: -1 | Rate Answer: + -

Written by bellacutie 232 days ago Rating: 1 | Rate Answer: + -

Hi,

I'm a mom with 2 girls. Firstly we're not therapists or doctors so we can't diagnose you. If we were we can't do it over the internet anyway.

I think as long as you know you would never ever do those things, then I wouldn't worry too much. I think they're just fleeting harmless thoughts. I think the fact that you're so freaked out about thinking those thoughts, makes the thoughts more intense - which makes you more upset. Since you know you would never do such things then you need to learn techniques to mange them. One way is to just accept them and then tell yourself they're not accurate and don't worry about it. You can also try relaxation and deep slow breathing. You can also try replacing the thought with a diffrent one. I have had fleeting thoughts of killing someone , but I know I'm not capable of that.

If none of the suggestions work (they take time), then you could tell your family doctor and they could recommend a couselor. If you ever do need couselling you shouldn'tbe embarrassed. But I truly think as long as you're not depressed and know YOU would never do them -then I wouldn't worry about it at all. I don't think there is anything wrong with you -don't worry you're OKAY. Let me know in a week or so if you feel better - I'll remember your name.

Written by Edahn 231 days ago Rating: 1 | Rate Answer: + -

When I was in high school, I used to have "inappropriate" thoughts all the time. Crazy shit like punching teachers in the face and spitting on people. I never did any of it because I knew that it was just my mind thinking inappropriate thoughts BECAUSE THEY'RE INAPPROPRIATE. It doesn't mean you really want to do these things, and it doesn't mean you're going to do these things, or that you have some kind of problem. It's a little like me saying WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T THINK OF A MONKEY. Your mind is so tempted to think about "forbidden" things.

Your mom is right. Just don't make a big deal out of it. You can even say to yourself (in your thoughts) "whoa, that was kinda weird. What's next?" :) It's no big deal. :)

P.S. You don't have to apologize for being female. It's not your fault. (JUST KIDDING! [regarding your second post])

Written by mayhmong 231 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

What do you mean after you turned 18? Looks like you must of been exposed to some porn site. I probably thought of the same thing for seeing a sausage too?!

As for the killer thought, I think you've been watching too many horror movies or yet want revenge on something. But if you are still worried about it try taking the mental health quiz on this site.

Written by Clyde 213 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

I agree with some of this, but inappropriate sexual thoughts can also be a sign of OCD.

I would get this checked.

Best,

Clyde


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