i've tried to be strong for a long time but some days i feel like this this pain is not going to end. most of my life, from elementary school through high school and college, i was depressed. but i only sought out professional help last year when i started to become suicidal. i dropped out of college because i couldn't deal and now spend most of my days at home. as a quiet, reserved person i found it hard to get along with my peers and this resulted in not having many friends. most of my problems i went through alone. i only have my immediate family right now (mother, father, sister) and even they are busy with their own lives and i don't want to burden them. when my relationship ended, i dealt with it alone. 3 years later and i haven't progressed much. now that ex is back and trying to lead me on again and it's hard to resist... i always blame myself, my personality and disability to form bonds with people for my depression which is such a heavy burden. what do i do? i've almost lost all hope.