Avatar Posted by starvingartist256 75 days ago (Question)
I'm 17 and my parents are divorced. I live with my mom. The problem is neither of my parents provide a very good place to live. My mom is going to college full time and she dosen't have a job, so we don't have a lot of money. It's gotten to the point where sometimes we have almost no food in the house. A lot of times I've had to give up my lunch money to pay for gas, but I never told her it was my lunch money in order to spare her pride.

My dad on the other hand is addicted(or at least dependent) on prescription pain killers and other such medications. He's gotten really bad lately and is constantly falling asleep or spazing out (twitching and squirming). He even fell asleep when he was driving with me in the front seat while we were stopped at a stop light. I love him, but he won't admit that he has a problem, and it's hard for me to see him without feeling really sad.

My question is what should I do? Sometimes I feel guilty or bad for talking about my problems at home with my close friends. Sometimes I'm afraid maybe I'm just exaggerating everything and it's not that bad at all. I'm I crazy? How can I not feel so stressed about things all the time?


Answers

Written by Chemar 75 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Hi

so sorry that you are having to carry these burdens at such a young age

you need to talk to a trusted adult about what is going on...perhaps your school counselor? It is admirable that your mom is furthering her education and that you want to spare her pride, but she is the parent and she needs to take responsibility to ensure you are properly cared for

It seems clear your dad isnt in a position to provide that care, but he needs help himself! I do hope you can get someone to convince him to check in to rehab and get off those pills that he is abusing

are you able to maybe find a part time job to help you have some money to take care of your needs? I know that isnt always possible with the demands of school, and especially at present with the high unemployment situation.

I do hope you will consider talking to your school counselor in confidence about all this.

hope things get better....

I would think in your situation you would possibly qualify for free lunch at school?

Written by Fpsy 75 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Hi starvingartist,

I can understand how stressed you must feel, you are dealing with a lot and it's understandable that you are asking for help. There is nothing wrong with you, you seem like a mature sensible person, you don't need to feel guilty for talking about your problems. You are young and have a lot more to deal with than other kids your age.

It's very worrying that your dad is addicted to pain killers but doesn't recognize this, to the point of being a dangerous parent. He drove and fell asleep, and he could have had a car accident and you and him could have potentially been hurt or killed. His issue is serious, so I recommend that you don't accept any offers of him driving you anywhere. If he insists then you need to point out to him that his behavior is dangerous.

Your mom needs to know how much of an effect her choice to study fulltime is having on you. She may choose to study part time and then work part time, to bring in a income. I understand that she is wanting to educate herself and improve her life and finances in the long term, but she has a responsibility now and that is to you. Your mom would have access to a student welfare organization who can help her out with finances and sorting out the problems. She can even get free counseling if she wants too. I recommend that you ask her to reach out for help with the university student welfare on campus. Those organizations are there to help people just like the two of you, so if she is embarrassed there is no need to be. Being embarrassed is understandable, but it doesn't help both of you. She needs to bite the bullet and reach out.

If your mom will not reach out for help, I recommend that you speak to the school counselor, you mom won't get into trouble, but they are there to help you and your mom. They might have some great ideas on how to help you and your mom and maybe what you can do about your dad.

I wish you well and I hope this helps.

Written by Clyde 68 days ago Rating: 0 | Rate Answer: + -

Sorry to hear about all that is going on. You have every right to feel stressed and worried. It is admirable to feel upset about what is going on with your parents and stuff...

Can you talk to your school counselor?

Your mother also needs to seek help of some kind, if not from her parents, at least from welfare or some one.

Best,

Clyde


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