Avatar Posted by xkidx 88 days ago (Question)
16. Female.

I've become a hard person. I don't get attached. I'm cold. But I'm also really nice and I love to help people. Yet I'm mean. I'm also a generally happy person yet I can spiral into depression and stress storms to the point where I feel like throwing myself out the window. I've selfharmed but not for depression. I was never sad when I did it. And I don't know why I did it. I still do it.

I used to lived with my grandparents for 13years. then I moved to my mother's. I shut them out. and I honestly didn't see anything wrong with it and I still don't. My mom talked to me about it. I don't talk to anyone that doesn't live near me. I just don't.

I've always feared abandonment. Yet I love being alone but I just can't stand the thought of someone leaving me.

Is there something wrong? or Am I just a teenager?


Answers


Chemar
87 days ago
Hi

self harm is never normal, even for a teenager, where emotional upheaval is normal.

What happened that you had to live with your grandparents?
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bella
87 days ago
I think part of the reason you're struggling could be linked to why you lived with your grandparents and not your mom. Not living with your mom could of affected your ability to form close attachments...which is why you fear abandonment. You learned to accept being alone somewhat but you still don't feel totally comfortable with it.

I think it would benefit you to speak with a counselor, even if its just to vent - sounds like you have some internalized anger. In addition its quite normal at this age to wonder about the future and to realize the magnitude of real life problems. I agree self injury is serious and can be habit forming. Don't suffer alone if you can't handle things on your own.
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