I'm a girl and since I was a child I have always felt EXTREMLY UNCOMFORTABLE around males of any age.I'm not only uncomfortable around males but I'm SCARED of males too.
I don't have any guy friend and have never had and nor do I want to.I only have females friends.I can't talk to males easily, and when they talk to me I find it much more difficult to respond than with females.I feel uncomfortable even around men from my family and the only man in this world that doesn't make me feel uncomfortale or scared is my father.I'M REALLY SCARED OF MEN.The very thought of being intimate with a man makes me terrified.I have never been sexually abused in any time of my life.
Maybe I feel uncomfortable around males because I was raised by grandmother and grew up almost completely surrounded by females only and my grandmother and the females that I live with always said for me not to be around men,not to trust men,not to speak with men frequently,they always said that I should avoid men and that there is no man in this world who is good they are always doing bad things to women.The females that I live with never let me be in a situation that I have to be around males.They think they are very dangerous to women.
I'm not so scared of gay men and I have had two gay guys as my friends and these are the only people of the male gender that I had as friends.In fact,I like it when a man is very feminine.
I'm 16 years old and I have never had a boyfriend and nor do I want to and I have never been in a intimate situation with any male,I have never kissed anyone in my life and I have never had any kind of sex with anyone in my life.
I really try to avoid any situation where I have to deal with males.When I'm in a place where there are many men I'll try to leave this place as soon as possible because being surrounded by males for me is TERRIFYING.I don't like when a guy moves,passes,stands behind me or by my side.
For some time now I have started to dislike and reject my own father only because he is a man.
If I have to be around males I try to be as arrogant and rude as I can with them.If a male comes to talk to me(it's extremly rare to happen because I really try and know how to avoid these kind of situations)I'll be very arrogant with him and I will ignore him all the time.
THOUGHTS THAT I HAVE DEVELOPED LATELY:I'm starting to dislike males and I don't think that their existence is important.I think that their existence is useless.Now that I'm a teenager and have a grown mind I tend to think that all males are rapists,childmolesters,perverts,aggressive,rude,violent,loutish,cheaters,unable to love(even fathers) and view females as inferior and dumb beings and only want to use females as sex slaves and housemaids.I can't help thinking this way about men.As since I was a child I feel uncomfortable around men and I'm scared of men,nowadays,as a teenager I'm starting to develop hate and disgustiness towards men too and this only worsen my way to deal with them.I WANT TO MAKE CLEAR THAT I HAVE ONLY DEVELOPED THESE THOUGHTS RECENTLY,I DIDN'T USE TO THINK LIKE THIS,BUT FOR ALL MY LIFE,SINCE I WAS I CHILD I HAVE ALWAYS FELT UNCOMFORTABLE AROUND MEN AND BECAUSE OF THAT I'M AUTOMATICALLY DEVELOPING HATE TOWARDS THEM NOW.MAYBE I SHOULD HAVE SEEN A THERAPIST BEFORE,WHEN I WAS A CHILD.
I'm starting to worry about that now because when I work I will have to deal with males and for me this is terrifying and just the thought that my boss could be a man is totally scary.
I'm not a lesbian and I have felt physically attracted to a few males celebrities before,but I have never felt attracted to any male that I know in my real life.
Could I Have Androphobia?
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