I've always been a person that likes solitude. I usually prefer to be alone than to be around others but at the same time I find myself rather lonely on occasion especially when it comes to romantic relationships. I want to be with someone and I know I could but for some reason when I start to get close to a woman I begin to feel smothered rather quickly. It's as though when I get in a relationship it feels like it's not as good as it should be no matter how good it is, like I have some sort of unrealistic expectation of love and this really bothers me. It's as though I think a good relationship will cure my problems with depression even though I know that's not how things work.


Answers


bella
2019 days ago
Hi,

I'm glad you're realistic and know a relationship won't cure your depression. Are you getting treatment (therapy/medication) for your depression? I think you're avoiding getting close because you feel your solitude might be threatened and also you have unrealistic expectations of what love should be - therefore you are sabotaging your chances in having relationships. You might also be afraid of failure as well. On a good note you seem to be aware of what's wrong and this makes it easier to correct it.

I hope you are getting treatment for your depression. It's best if you can get yourself healthy, that way when you do find someone they will enhance you - rather than complete you or cure your sadness. The next time you find a good woman try to measure ralistically the pros and cons of the relationship and don't over analize it to satisfy your true nature (which is a solitary life). Like you said even though you enjoy solitude you have to balance it because you feel lonely. Best of luck :)



Clyde
2004 days ago
I agree with Bella, I think a lot of it is due to your depression and anxiety and worry about being alone and not wanting to be alone.

If you are getting treatment for it, I would suggest discussing this in therapy.

If not, then I would suggest getting into therapy for it.

Best,

Clyde